Memories Of Ilithien
by Angel With No Wings
Summary: Death to an Elf is not easily understood, for their immortal souls rarely experience the devastation of this utter loss. But to one human the pain of mortality is well known. And now he must help the immortal understand, before it's too late to save him.
1. An Immortal Soul, Lost

Hello all! *waves at the people who accidentally wandered into my story* My name is Adrienne and I will be your author today. Today's special is a delicious cut of our best drama, seasoned to perfection and sprinkled lightly with tragedy. Served on the side is a wonderful delicacy of action/adventure along with our house special of angst. 

We invite you to partake of our complimentary tissues, and would like to warn you before hand that our cooks tend to add a healthy portion of graphic violence, though this particular dish is more known for it's subtle inner-angst.

We hope that you enjoy your meal and ask that you give any questions, comments, or concerns to the two muses at the exit. They will take all notes into consideration so that we can make your return a more pleasurable experience. 

**Summary:** Death, to an Elf is not easily understood, for their immortal souls rarely experience the devastation of this utter loss. But to one human, barely grown, the pain of mortality is well known in his heart. Can he make the immortal understand the life beyond loss, before the Elf's hatred destroys them both?

This is where I give the disclaimer. Now what I want you all to do is go to your bookshelves and pull out those 4 little books with funny, hairy-feeted short men on the covers. If you are reading this story you should all have them, if you don't, you're a disgrace. Okay, now that you have the books look inside. You see all those names? All those places? All those events that take place? Uh-huh. Now go to the front of the book. Good, good. See that name there? That J.R.R. Tolkien guy? Yeah, all those names, ect. belong to him. Not me. If they belonged to me I certainly wouldn't be here. And if I was making any money off of those names, ect. I certainly wouldn't be living at home with my mom. If you have any more questions consult my muses. They are currently not working at the moment and would be happy to inform you about my inadequacies as a writer.

P.S. I was serious about that disgrace comment.

**" Memories**** of Ilithien "**

**Chapter One - An Immortal Soul, Lost.**

Dark rain clouds thundered over head and harsh winds whipped at the clothes of the funeral procession, as if the very elements mourned the passing of an immortal soul. A desolate people made its way slowly down the hillside of Imladris to the resting place of the dead.

Estel walked at the head of the procession with his foster father and two older brothers. Ahead of them was the funeral pyre on the shoulders of four young elves. Lying on the pyre, covered in a mournfully woven black sheet was the body of his dearest friend.

~

_"Estel, you get back here this instant!" Ilithien demanded, though her voice rang with mirth as she chased the small boy through the halls of Elrond. "You must take your bath!"_

_"No! You have to catch me first!" The mud-splattered little boy shouted as he raced out an open door, running past his nanny, avoiding her grasping hands._

_"Estel, your father will kill me if you are not clean by the time the convoy from Mirkwood arrives!" The she-elf shouted as the boy turned a corner._

_Fearing that she had truly lost him this time Ilithien increased her speed, rounding the corner to find Elrohir, the younger of Elrond's twin sons, holding a pouting Estel around the waist, the boy's feet dangling several feet off the floor as he struggled in the tall elf's hold._

_Elrohir__ grinned and handed the boy over to his nanny, laughing as she carried him screaming towards the bathing room._

~

For many years Estel and Ilithien had enjoyed a bantering relationship of Nanny and boisterous child, then they, or at least he, had outgrown such a relationship and it had formed into an unbreakable bond of friendship. 

But now the pole bearers were laying her lifeless, mutilated body into the tomb beside the one that held Estel's beloved mother, now 13 years dead. Tears fell from the youth's eyes, staining his dark clothes, as a heavy, carved stone was rolled in front of the tomb, sealing Estel's heart inside.

Slowly the mourners left the desolate place, seeking shelter from the impending rain and harsh winds. Soon only three grave figures were left at the dark tomb.

Elrond placed a comforting hand on his foster son's shoulder, wishing he could ease the boy's pain, but also knowing there was nothing he could do. After a moment the ancient lord left as well, following the disappearing backs of his elder two sons as the clouds above them released their torrent.

*

The rain fell in a violent flow, instantly saturating the two desolate figures at the tomb, soaking through their clothes, plastering the fine, dark clothes against their skin. The young human shivered as the freezing rain beat down on him, but he couldn't make himself turn away from him dear friend.

He stole a quick glance at the other figure, wondering who else could have loved his beloved nanny as much as he to endure the torrential rain to say goodbye. But the brief look shocked him and he found himself staring openly at the elf beside him.

He had seen the immortal several times in his short life but had never spoken to the other being. The elf's face was an emotionless mask as he stared at the grave of his betrothed. The rain glued his black tunic and dark gray leggings to his body, the winds tore at his hair, whipping the long, rain soaked blonde strands around his face, and his brilliant blue eyes shone brighter with tears that slid slowly out, mixing with the cold rain and getting lost on his fair face.

Estel had not even known the youngest prince of Mirkwood was in Imladris.

~

_A young Estel ran into the throne room of King Thranduil and immediately sought out his foster father, hiding his small face in the elf's robes._

_"Estel?"__ Lord Elrond questioned, kneeling beside the boy. The child did not look at his father, but instead wrapped his little arms around the elf's neck and buried his face in his hair._

_"I'm sorry, Ada." The small child whispered, his young voice hitching with tears. "I didn't mean it."_

_"Mean what, Estel?" Elrond asked, prying the boy's arms from his neck and forcing the small human to look at him. But the boy had no time to answer, for a furious young Silvan elf burst through the main doors and strode over to where they and the king stood, his face twisted in a mask of rage._

_"I told you it was foolish to allow that human into our kingdom." The youngest son of the king seethed, pointing an angry finger at the boy. Estel buried his face in his father's robes again. "That brat has just let loose our entire flock of hunting birds! Who knows what other damage that child of filth will cause while he is here."_

_Lord Elrond immediately opened his mouth to come to the defense of his youngest child but the king beat him to it. "Hold you tongue, boy!" The king demanded, rising from his throne. "You are a prince of Mirkwood, not some uncivilized barbarian! You will remember to keep your manners as such, and you will not speak in such a way of one of our guests."_

_The young prince turned his head away in anger, too enraged to have the decency to appear embarrassed. Lord Elrond was an esteemed guest, and the child was, to Legolas' disgust, his foster son. But his hatred for all human kind would not allow him to back down._

_"Tomorrow you will leave with your garrison to patrol the borders for 3 weeks." The kind ordered, his eyes burning with barely contained anger. "While you are there I suggest you consider in earnest what it means to be one of the Eldar, for as of now you are not acting as such."_

_The verbal blow was as painful, if not more so, than a physical wound. His eyes glazed over with a forgotten pain and he turned slowly, walking from the room. On the way out he passed the child's nanny, not even glancing at her as he walked away when normally he would have given worlds simply to look into his beloved's eyes._

_The slender, raven-haired elf walked to the other side of the hall and gently pulled the shaking child away from her lord. "The hurts of his past are still deep in his heart. He will let them go, in time." She said softly, stroking the dark hair of the child in her arms._

_The king nodded, but still felt a great sorrow pull at his heart as he watched his youngest child leave his halls, his shoulders stooped in defeat. But what the young elf had done could have had, and still might, have grievous results. The friendship between the Silvan and the Noldor elves was thin enough as it was without the brash youngling clawing at the very center of it in anger._

_"I am sorry, Lord Elrond." The king said sincerely, turning to the still kneeling elf. "I apologize to you, and your son, on behalf of my own. What he said was inexcusable."_

_"Perhaps."__ The wise elf said as he stood. "But I believe we can let matters pass this once. I do believe though, that the young prince chooses not to remember that my father was also human. And as such I am produced from the same… filth, that the boy is."_

_The king cringed at the other elf's words, but Elrond quickly changed the subject back to the conversation they were engaged in before the interruption. Ilithien left the two ancient elves, quietly walking from the room, whispering soothing words in Sindarin into the child's ear._

~

Estel had asked her once what the 'hurts of the past' were that she spoke of, but she had told him that it was not her place to tell. All Estel knew was that whatever had happened, it had turned the prince against humans.

The young human had encountered the prince several other times in visit's to Mirkwood, or when the prince had come to his own home, but he had made very sure to stay out of his way as best as possible. Now he decided that he would leave, and allow the prince to grieve for his beloved in peace.

Estel watched him a moment more, entranced by what he saw. The prince had not moved since the others had left. His body was rigid, swaying lightly in the strong winds, and his hands were clenched into fists at his side. His wet hair whipped his face harshly as it was flung about by the wind but he seemed not to care, or notice. His fine face was set as if in stone, and he stared, unblinking, at the tomb.

Estel wondered if the fair elf was alright, for he knew that elves could become sick with grief, or possibly even die. But the young human knew well the pain of loosing one you loved, and supposed that the elf would be alright in time. He cast one last despairing look at the grave of his dearest friend, then silently turned and left. 

*

The rain had turned the world around him into a dark, dreary, and muddy place. The young man was barely halfway to his home and had already slipped in the slimy substance beneath his feet several times. He stumbled again, but caught himself this time, cursing his ungraceful human body.

Righted once more, he jammed his hands into the pockets on his tunic, hunching his shoulders against the biting cold that seemed to be seeping into his very bones. But as he continued on his hand found in one of his pockets a small item he had nearly forgotten.

He pulled it out and looked down at it, blinking against the blinding rain to see the small brown acorn.

~

_Ilithien__ walked up behind the boy and sat down beside him on the carved stone bench. "Why such a long face, my little Estel?" She asked, running a hand through his unruly dark hair._

_"I'm not little." The boy said defensively, but his voice held a betraying trace of tears. Ilithien looked down at the child, then out into the woods he was staring intently at. She saw several young elflings climbing very high trees. She smiled and looked down at the boy._

_"Do you wish to climb the tree too, my Hope?" She asked softly._

_"They said I can't." The little boy sniffled. "They said I'm too little." He leaned over and rested his small head on her arm. She shifted until he was resting on her shoulder instead, her arms wrapped lovingly around him._

_"You are little, Estel. But that is alright because you are still very young." The elf maiden said kindly. She reached down to the ground and picked up a small brown object. "You will grow in time. And then you will be able to do anything you want."_

_She picked up his small hand and placed the acorn inside. "Those trees that the children play on, even the ones that are too big for them, all started out very small. But now they have grown, and can do all the things they were created to do."_

_The little boy stared down at the acorn in his palm. "How long will it take?" He asked, the tears gone from his small voice._

_"Not long." His nanny assured him. "Why, in fact, I do believe you have grown, even while we speak." She smiled down at him, a glint in her eyes._

_"Have not." The boy admonished, rolling his eyes at the older elf. "It doesn't work that way."_

_The elf laughed at the somber little boy._

~

Estel had kept that acorn; he always carried it with him wherever he went. He had meant to leave it at her tomb, as a symbol of their friendship. He stared down at the acorn, then looked up towards his home. He could just barely see the warm glow of fire light coming from the windows.

'I'm already soaked through.' He thought, turning around and walking back towards the grave. 'A little more won't hurt.'

At the tomb he walked over to a statue beside Ilithien's grave. It was a figure of an Elf-maiden with her hands stretched towards the sky, a symbol of Ilithien's joy in life. Estel placed the small nut in one of her upturned palms then turned to leave once more.

But a quick glance told him that the prince was no longer standing before the tomb. He wondered where the elf had gone, for he had not passed him and there was only one path that lead back to the house. A closer look revealed what he had not previously seen.

"Ai!" The young human cried as he ran to the side of the fallen prince.

On passing, hidden by the rain and his dark clothes, Estel had not seen the prince lying face down in the mud. One arm was twisted beneath him, mud and rain plastered his clothes and hair. Estel gently rolled him over onto his back, revealing a stony face covered in mud. The elf's eyes were closed.

"Oh Valar." The human sighed. He reached his hand out and felt the princes muddy neck; there was a faint pulse.

"Estel, what happened?" The man jerked his head up, startled to see his oldest brother, Elladan, kneeling beside him. "I came to find you, to get you out if the rain." The elf explained as he stared down at the prince. "What happened?"

"I don't know. I left for a moment, when I came back he had fallen." The young human's eyes were wide, frightened. He feared for the prince's life, despite how he had treated him in the past. "Go get, Ada, please." He asked his brother as he reached down to pick up the prince.

The elf nodded and raced towards the house as Estel stood, cradling the limp form of the prince in his arms. He was met at the door of the large house by a barrage of worried elves; word of the prince's fall had spread quickly. His father quickly pushed his way through the crowd. One look into the older elf's eyes told Estel that he did not hold much hope.

"Varilas, take him to his chambers." The wise lord said. "I'll see to him there."

A blonde haired elf, Estel remembered him to be the prince's aid, took the prince from his arms and turned towards the center of the house.

"Adar?" Estel asked as the older elf turned to leave. "Will he be alright?"

The elf turned back and looked the young human in the eyes. "I do not know, Estel." He said softly, then turned and followed the prince's aide.

**To Be Continued…**

Reviews are most welcome. Praise is preferred, constructive criticism is greatly welcomed, and flames are rather enjoyed (go figure), so anything and everything you might like to say, please do so.

Until next time!

Adrienne


	2. Do Not Leave This Earth

Hey all! I've never done the whole, thanking each reviewer individually before, but it seems so much more grateful and personal than a simple all-encompassing 'thanks'. So I'm going to start.

(for full summary and disclaimer please see first chapter)

**MG87** - Well, I'll be sure to inform my muses. Thank you. J

**Stranger to your Eyes** - Isn't angst fun? Your waiting can cease.

**Karri** - Intriguing? Well thank you. And thank you so much for the corrections as well, I truly appreciate it. The errors have been corrected.

**Beth Trogdon** - That was actually my intention, I'm glad you noticed.

**LegolasLover2003** - Spelling errors duly noted and fixed. Thanks so much for bookmarking me! That makes me feel all bubbly inside. :)

**Alexis** - Let the utter appreciation begin. *bows dramatically* Oh yeah, thanks. :P

**Author's notes: **Starting in this chapter I will be using Sindarin (it's probably actually a horrific mix of Sindarin and Quenya, and the translations themselves probably make poor J.R.R. roll over in his grave, but I'm doing my very best. any help anyone would be willing to give would be immensely appreciated). The translations will be in bold at the end of the paragraph in which the Sindarin appears. 

However, I will not be translating _Adar_, which means 'father', _Ada_, which in retrospect means 'daddy' or 'dad', or _mellon nin_, which means 'my friend'. I use them too often to want to bother with a translation every time, and besides you all probably know what they mean anyway. And if you didn't before you do now.

Also, you'll all probably notice that this chapter is considerably shorter than the first. See, here's the deal… this will be the norm. I always make really bad cutoff points, so my chapters are either very long, or very short. I don't really have an in between. And just FYI, very short is far more common. Sorry.

And one more thing, I apologize for my rambling ways. I try to keep these things short, it just doesn't work. And I also apologize for my hyperness in the first chapter, and all the other hyperness that will come.

On with the story!

**" Memories**** of Ilithien "**

**Chapter 2 - Do Not Leave This Earth**

The old elf lord closed his eyes and sighed, rubbing the ache at his temples gently. He turned from the window he had been staring out of, unseeing, and looked to the still form on the bed in the middle of the room. The young prince's aide and bodyguard stood at attention at the doorway of the room, his eyes not leaving his lord.

Elrond slowly walked over to the bed, his soft footfalls not even audible to the sharp ears of an elf, and stared down at the young Silvan elf. The princes eyes were closed as he slept, hiding the brilliant blue color of the sea. When Elrond had reached the prince's room he had search closely for any wound that may have explained the young elf's fall, but he, as he knew he would, found no sign of damage to the elf's lithe body.

'No.' The elf lord sighed as he moved to leave the room. 'The pain that closes the eyes of the young prince is not of his body. It lies deep in his heart.'

Avarilas did not turn his eyes from his prince as the older elf left. He knew well what ailed his friend, for he had been his aide since the day he was born. His very name meant 'to protect the leaf'. He had been with the prince since the beginning of his love for Ilithien.

~

_"I will return, _meleth nin_." Ilithien said softly, her gentle fingers lightly brushing the face of her beloved. **(… my love.")**_

_"Soon." Legolas begged, his sea-blue eyes staring up into hers, perched on her horse as she prepared to leave him once again. She nodded, her eyes gentle and full of love, and leaned down to brush her lips softly against his._

_"_Tenna taare_," She said in a whisper, her breath floating across the prince's sensitive ear. "_isto ta nin meleth anle mammen voro im wanne_." Then she kissed him once more and was off, her horse's flanks quickly disappearing into the dense woods as she followed the rest of her company. **("Until then," … "know that my love is with you wherever I go.")**_

_The prince stared after her retreating form long after it had disappeared even from his elven eyes._

_"She will return, my prince." Avarilas said, walking up beside the young lord and placing a hand on his shoulder. "But for now you have duties to attend."_

_Legolas turned to him, a smile spread across his face with a light to rival even that of Earendil. "Duties?" He asked, his eyes shining, his face aglow with love. "What duties do I have that could surpass that of my love? What duties could be worthy of taking me from her, even if only from her memory? No Avarilas. I have no duties but to my beloved."_

_Avarilas sighed and grabbed the prince's shoulders, spinning him around to face the palace gate. "Tell that to you father, my prince, not me."_

_They slowly made their way to the palace throne room, Legolas stopping frequently to 'take in the beauty of their surroundings' or 'dance for joy, for how could he not?'._

_"Oh, Avarilas!" He finally shouted, spinning around at the entrance to the throne room, throwing his hands in the air as his long golden hair whipped around him. "That Iluvitar would grant me such a love! It is as if the very light of the stars dances within my heart. To be with her is a treasure worthy of a king. Her presence is a beacon to my soul, a light in endless darkness."_

_Finally he stood still and looked at his bodyguard, his friend. The light in his eyes seemed to dim and a pain sat deep within them. "To loose her would be a fate worse than death." He whispered._

_Avarilas stood silent for a moment, contemplating what his prince had said. Finally, in a voice barely above a whisper he said, "A love like that is dangerous for a warrior. Especially when that warrior is a prince."_

_Legolas said nothing, for he knew what his guard spoke of. To be distracted in a battle could easily cost him his life. And should an enemy find out about King Thranduil's youngest son's love for the girl, it could prove deadly to many parties. Legolas turned slowly and entered the throne room, pushing the disquieting thoughts to the back of his mind._

~

They had not seen Ilithien alive again after that. Less than a week past a messenger had arrived in Mirkwood bearing the news that a traveling party of Imladris had been attacked by orcs, and that Ilithien had been captured and slain. They had arrived in Imladris only that morning; the prince had not spoken a word to him, or anyone since he had received the message.

And now Avarilas feared that his prince's soul would follow his beloved's to the Halls of Mandos.

He walked over to the bed and sat on the edge, staring down at the still, pale face. "Do not leave this earth, my prince." He begged, gently brushing a stray lock of hair away from the other elf's face. "Ilithien would not have you give in to despair."

*

"Ada?" Estel asked, peering around the door to his foster father's study.

"Come in, Estel." The elf lord said, beckoning the young man in with a slender hand.

Estel entered the room and sat down next to the blazing fire, still trying to fight off the chill that had seemed to have seeped into his very soul. The two sat in silence for quite some time, the elf finishing a letter, the human staring resolutely into the fire.

"He is not well, _ion nin_." Elrond said after he had sealed the letter. "As you know, grief can take the life of an elf. And the prince grieves deeply for his love." **(… ,my son.")**

"But… can he not sail to Valinor? Like Celebrain?" The young human knew that it still pained the elder elf to speak of his wife who had sailed to the Gray Haven after being attached by orcs, but not so much so that he would never mention her. Estel had often heard him retelling tails of the fair elf to his sons.

"Perhaps." Elrond said, a shadow quickly passing over his eyes then lifting away again. "But I fear that his soul would not make it that far, for it has already broken beyond complete repair. More than once."

"Is there nothing then that you can do for him?" 

The ancient elf shook his head sadly. Then he looked up at his young son, a question creasing his brow. "I am surprised you care so deeply for his recovery. Considering how he has treated you in the past." Elrond still clearly remembered the young prince calling his son a 'child of filth' on their first meeting.

Estel shrugged. "I do not wish for any person's death, Adar. Despite how they have act toward me." He stood then and left his father alone, the old elf contemplating once again just how remarkable the young human was.

*

As Estel made his way towards his room he passed the prince's door. It had been left open slightly and he looked in through the crack. Avarilas sat on the prince's bed, staring down at his friend, whispering soft words in Sindarin. He left then, leaving the two in peace, praying to the Valar to give the elf the strength to survive.

*

Legolas could sense nothing around him. No sights, no sounds, no smells. The world had become a barren wasteland of emotion, swirling through his mind, dipping into his soul and tearing away at the very fibers of his life. All things good and pure in the world had dried up and crumbled away like dust, being blown about by the wind until they were carried out of sight and scattered into oblivion, never to be returned.

Silent cries ripped through the air like a knife, breaking the seal of hope that had once surrounded the prince, sending his existence into a spiraling eddy of pain and sorrow, grief and utter despair. His hands grasped for what was no longer there and his body yearned for the touch of that which had been ripped so cruelly away from him.

Even the memories of such things as happiness and love were tearing, falling to shreds at his sides, mocking him with their very presence as they promised him nothing but an eternity of loneliness and misery. Icy cold tears slid from his eyes, sliding down his face and carrying with them all thoughts of joy.

He begged the Valar to end his suffering as he was once again pulled into oblivion. 

**To Be Continued…**

As I said before, praise, criticism, praise, flames, praise… all are enjoyed. *walks away contemplating life's great mysteries*

Until next time!

Adrienne


	3. The Deep Red Of Blood

Hello again!! Just FYI, you can expect updates every Sunday nightfrom now on. It's easiest on me and my ever scattered brain to have some semblance of order by making a set day.

For a full summary and, rather odd, disclaimer, see chapter one.

And for my lovely reviewers, my thanks… 

**Elenillor** - First, I apologize for not putting you in my previous thanks, I did not see your review until after I posted. And second, thank you for the wonderful review. Such excited reviews are always the most enjoyed. And knowing that there is nothing of objection is also a wonderful boost to the ego.

**LORTFaith** - Ummm… if you will proceed to the following author's note, my muses have a confession to make.

**MG87** - Well you're welcome. I'm glad to know I could brighten your day. *shakes head at self* And uh… yeah. *cringes at the shortness*

**RainyDayz** - Well, of course there's more angst! Go, read, enjoy the torture!

**LegolasLover2003** - I agree with your sentiment. The elf should not leave the earth as he is greatly loved. And since it's my story… (: And thanks for the suggestions. I had found the DragonFlame sight before, but didn't give it too good a look. Going back, it's excellent. Definitely the best help I've had. Thank you!

**Quachatu** - Ah yes, the sweet smell of angst. As lovely a sent as any rose. *grins* And I agree with the whole killing off of loved ones remark. Hence why I put it in. *ties big juicy steak to elf's neck and tosses to the wargs* . Hemmingway? You dear, sweet flatter. *guffaws*. And as for the 'turning against humans' thing., as I told LORTFaith, proceeded to the author's note, my muses have a confession.

**Elven Destiny** - Yes, yes. The guilt of angst. Such a fleeting this is it not?

**Author's note: **

*author pulls muses out to a microphone* "Talk."

*first muse clears his throat* "Umm… hello. After getting reviews asking for answers to Legolas' past experience with men Adrienne told us to tell you that she - Ow!" *muse rubs arm where he was pinched and glares at the author* "That we," *points to other muse* "thought it would be umm… more entertaining, if that incident were placed in a story of it's own. We regret to inform you that that is our final decision and we…

*author taps foot and points at reviews* 

*muse glares* "Okay, well maybe we can tell you a little. But most of it's going to the other story!" *other muses nods agreement*

*author rolls eyes and pushes muses back to their corner of the room* "As you see, your questions may or may not be answered in this story. I apologize for any inconvenience." *glares at muses*

"We had to keep them coming back somehow!"

"Shut up you. Once again, I apologize."

Enjoy the story!

**" Memories of Ilithien "**

**Chapter 3 - The Deep Red of Blood**

Elladan and Elrohir stood in front of their father, hands clasped behind their backs, looking to all the world like the same person, a mirror image of the other, standing solemnly in front of the elf lord.

"You're certain?" Elrond asked, looking first at one son, then the other, his dark eyes piercing through them.

"Positive, Adar." Elrohir, stated softly, his brother nodding agreement. "We saw their captain. It is the same band that attacked our people. And killed Ilithien."

Elrond lowered his head to his hands, rubbing at his aching temples; he could feel the cool glint of Vilya on his skin. He sighed deeply, then looked back up at his sons.

"Ready our best fighters. We'll be after them before daybreak."

"We, Ada?" Elladan asked, his eyes widening in surprise.

"Yes, Elladan." Elrond said, looking into the eyes that reminded him so much of his beloved Celebrain. "We. For this I shall once again pick up the quiver and bow of my youth."

The twins nodded then quickly left to ready the hunting party. Elrond sighed again and stood from his desk, ready to prepare for the first battle he had seen in many centuries.

He said nothing as a silent figure moved away from the window at his back.

***

Avarilas crept silently back into Legolas' bedroom, moving gracefully across the wooden floor and taking his place once again at the prince's side.

"They have found them, _mellon nin_." He said, brushing a lock of hair from the still unmoving face. "The creatures that took Ilithien's life. They have found them, and they prepare even now to go after them and slay them."

For nearly two weeks now Avarilas had stayed by Legolas' side, unable to do anything for his lord and friend. But now he believed that he had the key to bring him back from the void his soul had fallen into. For he had heard tell that the only emotion greater than love, was hate.

"You must go with them, my prince." Avarilas said, praying that the words he spoke were somehow reaching the immobile soul beneath him. "Take revenge on their disgraceful lives. Make them pay for what they have done. For what they did to Ilithien. Destroy them."

Avarilas cringed at his words, for they were a contradiction in themselves. He had known Ilithien for as long as Legolas had, and he knew that her gentle spirit would protest such hate. He asked her soul for forgiveness and turned back to his prince.

"Destroy them." He whispered.

~

_"I simply do not see the point." Ilithien repeated, stalking away from the two grinning warriors._

_"We are fighters, Ilithien." Legolas sighed as he obediently followed after her. "It is what we do."_

_"You shed their blood needlessly." Ilithien hissed, whipping around to glare at the prince._

_"Would you have their foul race overrun Mirkwood?" Avarilas asked, stepping up next to Legolas._

_"They have done you no harm." Ilithien protested, her resolve not failing at all._

_"This band perhaps. But in the past their kind have taken many immortal lives." Legolas said harshly, growing quickly tired of this endless battle. "Do you not remember the devastation at the Last Alliance of Men and Elves? Thousands of bodies of our people, people who should yet live today, cover the ground even now at the Dead Marshes. Were it not for the orcs they would walk this earth still. They are a foul, repulsive, evil race that does not deserve to live on these lands. And the sooner they are wiped out, the better."_

_The elf maiden stood still as stone for several heartbeats that lasted an eternity. Then she turned and stared into the princes eyes, golden green clashing with icy blue. "The next time you are killing one of those 'repulsive' creatures, take a moment to think that if not for chance, it could be your blood that some elven lord were spilling heartlessly."_

_"What!?" Was all the reply the shocked elf could utter._

_"You forget, Prince Legolas, that the only reason there are such 'foul' beings as the orcs is because their ancestors, elves like you, were tortured mercilessly into what they are today. And had it been your ancestors instead of theirs, you would be an orc. A foul, repulsive creature that deserved nothing but death."_

_The prince raised his hand, one slender finger pointed angrily at her, his hand shaking in fury. Then he turned around and stormed away from her, grabbing his bow and racing into the forest, a steady heat flushing his face._

*

'… found … creatures … Ilithien's life … go … revenge … make them pay… Destroy them … Destroy them.'

Broken words filled Legolas' senses as he strayed farther and farther into the oblivion. The blackness around him wrapped itself around the words, pulling them apart, twisting them, magnifying them until it were all he knew.

And the blackness slowly turned to the deep red of blood.

***

Startled elves uncharacteristically scrambled out of the way as a figure, clouded in darkness, marched through the halls of Imladris, searching down one particular door. Rage filled the air around him and the elves shuddered as he passed.

*

The door to his study burst open behind him and Elrond slowly turned around, knowing what he would find. His eyes met those of the young Mirkwood prince and one eyebrow raised in question.

"Can I help you, Legolas?" He asked casually, sliding a dagger into his belt.

"I'm going with you." The prince answered, his usually melodic voice harsh with wrath and 2 weeks of un-use.

The elf lord's ancient eyes swept over the young elf in an instant, taking in the wretched sight of him. His body quivered in fury and exhaustion, his eyes nearly glowed red with the unnatural rage behind them. He was breathing harshly, his icy breath slipping away in puffs of vapor into the warm room. His hands moved seemingly of their own life, clenching into fists, grasping at nothing, closing around invisible weapons.

"You are in no state to fight." Elrond said gently, his dark eyes piercing the young warrior, seeing into his very soul. What he saw was layered in blackness and crimson red, dripping with blood.

"I will destroy them. You cannot stop me." Legolas hissed, his hands reaching for weapons that were not there. "No one can stop me."

Elrond sighed, his eyes weighed down with compassion, for he knew well the prince's grief. "Perhaps." The elf lord said, looking up at Legolas once more. "But I can do my best."

Legolas whirled around as two figures entered the room. His hands once again went instinctively for his knives, but he found nothing but air. Elladan and Elrohir approached him slowly, their gazes cautious as they watched their longtime friend.

Legolas snarled at them, his eyes burning with ire; he knew they came to stop him. But nothing could take away the lust for blood that now course through his body. No one would deny him that release.

He moved to lunge at them, hands prepared for a fight, his mind seemingly cutting all ties with sanity. But he suddenly found himself stopped by a gentle hand, enclosed with a soft cloth, wrapped firmly around his mouth and nose. He breathed in the bitter sweet smell of the liquid that coated the cloth, his eyes widening in recognition and horror, then fell limp to the floor.

"He will hate me for that for many years." Elrond sighed sadly as Elladan and Elrohir moved to pick up their fallen friend.

"It is for his own good, Adar." Elladan said in reply, cradling the prince's head against his shoulder as he steered out of the door, Elrohir holding firmly to the prince's legs. "He would not survive the battle. Not like this."

"Perhaps." Elrond whispered as they left, wondering why, with all his knowledge of all his years, he knew not how to heal a broken heart.

***

Estel watched angrily as the Elven warriors left Imladris, leaving him behind. 'I cared more for her than any of them.' He thought bitterly, turning back towards the room of the balcony he stood on. 'If any should avenge her it should be me.'

He looked at Avarilas, once again leaning over the un-responding body of his friend. The elf looked up at him, a guilty but determined expression in his eyes, then turned back to his prince, whispering words in Sindarin too quite for Estel's human ears to hear.

'Watch over him, Estel' His foster father's words hummed in his ears. 'I am trusting him to your care while we are away.'

Estel cast one last pitying look at the vulnerable form of the prince then stalked out of the room.

**To Be Continued…**

*starts pacing room* Okay, so I was going to let you off easy, no long notes, no pleas for reviews, just a short, sweet 'until next time'. Then, as I was writing this I got a phone call from my mother. And now I'm going to vent.

Our lives are going to hell!! First off, my sister moves down to California, waaay before she's ready, and gets in a massive car accident on the way down and totals 2 cars. Now my mother is stuck paying all these insurance bills and towing bills and other such stupid things because my sister can't afford it.

Then, less than two weeks later my dog gets seriously ill and rings up a vet bill over a thousand dollars!! So now we're up to our necks in bills, that we can't pay! Then today my brother got a toothache so bad he had to be taken to the emergency room (more bills!), and while he and my mom were waiting for 3 stinking hours to be seen our car got stolen! Stolen! Arg!!

I think I'm going to go insane. 

*plasters on a smile and sneers through teeth* Until next time!

Adrienne


	4. Clever Hunter

Okay, so a funny thing happened. If you read my rant about my sucky life from the last post you'd know that our car got stolen. Well, as it turns out, the next morning my mom got a call from the police and they had this little story to tell us.

While my mom and brother were in the E.R. an old woman was there with her husband, but her husband died that night. (That's not funny, it's just part of the story.) Anyway, after he died the police took the old woman home, leaving her car there, which was also a gray 1990 Toyota Camry, just like ours. When she got home she called up her nephew and asked him to go pick up her car. Well, when he got to the parking lot he went to the first gray Camry he saw and, low and behold, the key worked.

He took it home, filled up the absolutely empty gas tank, changed the oil, cleaned the inside, and washed the outside. He takes it to his aunts the next day, she takes one look at it and says… *dramatic music plays* 'That's not my car.'

I was ours. One in every five keys belonging to a Toyota Camry will work in our car. All cars are that way. It saves on creativity. So, they called the police and told them what happened and we got our car back in better condition than when we lost it. *grins*

Thank you to everyone who sent their condolences on my sucky life. I'll try not to bother you with it in the future, though I have been given permission. *waves at LegolasLover2003*

Sorry for my ramblings.

**Responses to my wonderful reviewers -**

**Ellenilor -** No apologies needed. (you did spell it right *grins*)

**Coolio02 -** Really? Hmm… Cool! Lol. Thank you for the review!

**silvertoekee**** - I thought the blood was a little dramatic but I really liked it, so I'm glad to hear you did too!**

**grumpy**** - Thank you! Getting their personalities right was a big issue for me. I mean, I know Legolas is like, waaay off target, but there's a reason for that.**

**MG87 -** Really? You mean that? Wow. I feel so loved. Thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews (and the ones to come *hint hint*), they always make me feel very special. *grins*

**LegolasLover2003 -** Glad to oblige, and yes I'm mad at Elrond as well. lol. As for my next story, well my muses are not so inclined to give me more than one story at a time, so the next one will not be up until after this one is finished. When that is I do not know. And you want our dear Ranger-to-be and most beloved Elf to talk you say? Well, read on dear reviewer, read on. *grins evilly* 

**" Memories**** of Ilithien "**

**Chapter 4 - Clever Hunter**

Lindelen sent a prayer to the Valar as his horse pounded across the plains between Mirkwood and the Misty Mountains. His father, King Thranduil, had received a message three days ago from Lord Elrond saying that his youngest son, Lindelen's brother, was in grave trouble.

The oldest son of the king new well that his little brother grieved for his beloved, it had aggrieved all the inhabitants at Mirkwood's palace to learn of her death for she had been a great friend to them all for years beyond measure. And Lindelen worried now that his brother's grief was beyond what they had thought.

He had left the convoy sent for the youngest prince 2 days ago, setting out on his own, hoping to reach his brother before it was too late. He knew that the horse that carried him was being taxed further than he should have been. But Elven horses were strong, and Lindelen dared not stop now.

***

Estel could hear the angry footfalls of the elf prince through the door. He had been pacing for hours now, marching back and forth, cursing in ways that the young human had not even heard from his older brothers. The Silvan prince let out a roar of rage and Estel cringed when he heard something come to a smashing end against one of the bedroom walls.

"Make him stop." Estel pleaded with the tall, blonde elf behind him. "He'll destroy the entire room."

"With just cause." The elf bit back, his words coming out harsher than he intended. For he did not approve of the way Lord Elrond was treating his prince. Locking him in his room like an animal; ordering the prince to stay put like he were a slave.

"He'll be killed." Estel said once again as he leaned against the wall in the hallway outside the prince's room. "His emotions run too deep for him to keep a level head in battle."

"And they run too deep as well to keep him locked in his room while his betrothed's murderer's wander the lands free." Avarilas said, giving the young human a pointed look. Though he did not hold the same loathing for Human's as his lord did, he still found them to be a young and insufferable race.

"It is for his own good." Estel sighed, knowing that his foster father was right in keeping the prince at Imladris while he and his best warriors tracked down the orcs that killed Ilithien.

"Perhaps." The elf said slowly. "But think of this, human. It pains you greatly that your father denied you to come with them. Ilithien was very dear to you and you wish to avenge her death. You have loved her for thirteen years." He cast the human one last knowing look before turning and walking away, a final comment assailing Estel's ears like a drum, "But my prince has loved her for a thousand."

*

Estel peered around the door to the prince's room, much like he had done with his father's 2 weeks ago. But this time he took such caution in fear.

The angry pacing and livid curses had abruptly stopped, causing Estel to fear for the prince's well being. But though his desire to help Legolas overwhelmed it, it did not quite squelch the fear of the fuming elf. Growing up in Rivendell had proven time and again that it was folly to get in the way of an angry elf.

"You are either very stupid or very brave to enter this room, human." A cold voice hissed from the bed in the center of the room. "My guess would have to be the first."

"You are safer here." Estel said softly, entering the room completely but blocking the door from any escape attempts.

"You think I care at all for my own safety?" Legolas growled, glaring at the frightened human. "All light has left my life. I would welcome death, should it come to me. I wish only to avenge the death of my love."

"My father will destroy the orcs for what they have done. You need not put yourself in peril." Estel assured the elf. Looking at him now, Estel could barely recognize the prince for what he was.

His icy blue eyes were dull with torment, his normally flawless hair was tangled and knotted around his face, and it looked as if he had slept in his clothes for weeks. The natural glow that surround all of the Eldar was all but gone from his presence, replacing it instead was an invisible cloud of sorrow that settled around the prince and wrapped him in its mocking grasp.

Estel was jolted from his thoughts by a contemptuous laugh that came from the elf. "You have no father." Legolas hissed, his eyes narrowing to irate slits, his lips curling up in a sneer. The elf stood and walked over to Estel, glaring at him with a superiority and hatred only the Elves could possess.

"Your father was too weak to stay on this earth." Legolas moved slowly around the room, taking in the piles of broken glass and pottery that had landed on the floor after leaving scornful dents in the walls. He turned back towards Estel, contempt rising off him like steam from a boiling pot. 

"His pathetic human life was not worthy of survival, so the powers that be took him from the earth to save it of the disgrace of having created such a creature. It is simply by pity that Elrond keeps you here, for you, child, are no more worthy of staying in the halls of elves than a dog is of eating at a king's table." The prince sneered at Estel, his eyes burning with hatred and cruelty.

Estel returned the glare, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill at the elf's harsh words. He reached behind his back and grasped the handle of the door, swinging it open, letting it crash into the wall with a bang.

"Go to your death." He whispered, his words laced with pain and loathing. Legolas did not hesitate, grabbing his weapons and sliding out the door, dashing down the halls towards the road he knew the warriors took.

***

Legolas ran outside the grounds of Rivendell, following the trail of the orcs as they fled back to their home. Just days before he had not been able even to move from his bed as the grief of Ilithien's death tore at his soul and destroyed him quickly, yet so agonizingly slow; like a dwarves pick, chipping away at the hard stone of a mountain, spelling out it's doom with every blow, but also laughing at the slow, tormenting death it promised.

But with the news of the orcs trail he had regained his strength ten fold, fueled by anger and hatred, by the need for vengeance and the blood of the foul creatures to stain the ground; for their cries of agony to fill the air as he ripped their lives away as they had done to his beloved.

And now as he ran he allowed the anger, the pain, the hatred to fill his every being; to seep into the cracks of his soul and drive him onward, towards vengeance, blood, and death. Towards peace.

For now he could only find peace in death. Whether it be his own, or that of the creature's that had taken his love, his very light, from the earth. He cared not which it was at this point, he only ran on, a hunter longing for blood.

~

_"Legolas?"__ Ilithien called out into the forest, peering through the thick veil of trees, searching for the well known shape of her beloved. "Legolas, where are you?"_

_'Come find me.' The trees seemed to whisper to her._

_She laughed and started forward, her sparkling eyes penetrating the blanket of tree boughs and moss, searching for the unsaid secrets the whispers had held._

_Feet falling silently to the forest floor, she moved ever onward, the trees leading her ever closer to her target, first here, then there, then so close she could almost touch him, the very presence of her love pulling her farther in to the heart of the forest. Finally she stopped, her eyes sliding closed, a smile forming across her delicate lips._

_"_Hirle nin sennui, finie feredir_."__ Ilithien whispered, turning to find the gentle face of her love staring down at her, so close his breath became hers and hers, his.** **("You have found me instead, clever hunter.")****_

_"_Alim turmara nahaeron o le annan_."_ He whispered back, his hands find her waist, gently pulling her closer still. _**("I could not bear to be apart from you any longer.")**_

_"_Trenari nin lín thurin_."__ She sighed softly. And he caught her lips in a kiss. **("Tell me your secret.")**_

~

*

Estel raced across the plain beside Avarilas, cursing his own stupidity at ever letting that accursed elf get to him. 'I should have known he was just goading me on to get me to let him out. How could I have fallen for something so simple?'

But he stumbled then, his thoughts leaving him as he righted himself and sped on, concentrating instead on the ground beneath his feet, praying that they would reach the prince before he reached the orcs.

**To Be Continued…**

Lots and lots of reviews make me lots and lots happier. *scowls at my own bad grammar* And here I call myself a writer. *shrugs* Do you like my O.C.? I'm hoping he will show up every now and then in my stories. I've never really had my very own character. *hugs Lindelen* I like him. :) And I know, I know Legolas' character is waaay off. But like I told 'grumpy', there's a reason for that. I mean, come on. He's going crazy. That should be obvious. The blood, the seeing red, the icy breath. He's crazy. *ducks* Please don't shoot me for butchering Tolkien's beloved character. I'll fix him I promise!! *whispers behind hands* maybe…

Until next time!

Adrienne


	5. Lost

*author steps up to the mic and clears throat* 'After posting my previous chapter I have been informed by an anonymous source *glares at shadowy figure behind me* that I made a rather large blunder in my author's note at the end and do in fact have another O.C.. I would like to at this point state my mutual love for Avarilas as well.' *pulls shadowy figure out to the mic and gives a hug*.

'There. Are you happy now?'

*O.C. nods* 'Yes, thank you.'

*author glares at O.C.* 'I can kill you off you know.'

'Cannot. You need me for the next story."

'Damn it.'

**Comments to my oh-so-lovely reviewers…**

**LegolasLover2003** - Ah, I'm glad you approve of my outofcontext!Legolas. I was afraid that I had overdone it and people would not like the story because of it. Though… the poor elf still has a lot, and I mean a LOT, to go through before he's back to his old self. Hopefully he'll be just as appealing when he continues down the path to insanity. Ahnd I'm placing our dear little human at around 18, give or take.

**MG87** - *cringes once again at the horrible shortness* I'm sorry to say that ery few of my chapters are very long at all. *cries* I try, really I do! But I just find myself with such great cutting off points! And I promise, scouts honor, that I'm not going to kill of our beloved elf. Then who would I have to torture. *laughs maniacly* And I saw the trailer online with AOL. Oh my God!!! I cannot wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Tinnuial** - Well I'll certainly try. Thanks for the review!

**silvertoekee** - *dramatic music plays in the background* Dun dun dun… lol. Anyway, yes, yes we will have to see if our elf really meant to be so very very cruel. And will Lindelen arrive on time? Hmm… We'll just have to find out. *grins*

Now on with the story. Once again apologize for my hyperness. :P

**" Memories of Ilithien "**

**Chapter 5 - Lost**

The air, whipping at Legolas' face, tossing his hair into a tangled web behind his head, seemed distant, a memory of something he could no longer understand. The ground beneath his feet seemed hollow, echoing like a forge and hammer with every footstep, steps that were so light they barely bent the fertile blades of grass he unknowingly ran on.

And inside, a battle raged in his body, his soul. A battle of fire and ice; burning rage and an icy calm that carried him onward, towards his goal, towards his release. He caught a tainted scent on the distant wind and force more speed to his pumping legs.

He was close.

*

Three Elven warriors perched easily in the trees at the edge of the forest, the rest of their company less than a mile away, waiting for them to return with their report. They were hidden from sight of any creature, above or below them, looking down on the grisly band they had been tracking since dawn. The creatures had stopped at the forest's edge to wait out the murderous rays of the sun, and now as it neared dusk they readied themselves to move on again, toward their foul caverns in the Misty Mountains. And the elves waited patiently for the right moment of attack, when the orc's guard was down, when they were most vulnerable.

For none would survive this battle. Even if the elves had to follow them to Mordor and back, they would all perish for what they had done.

Elrond watched with hate-filled eyes as the creatures moved beneath him, soiling the very earth they walked on, the air they breathed. Elrohir was balanced lightly on his left, watching the orcs intently, his eyes burning with a barely controlled rage. Elladan was on his right, a calmness about him that was more terrifying than his brother's fury.

Elrond had tried once to understand Ilithien's sorted view of the orcs, that he could have been born one of the foul creatures if not for chance, but he could feel no sympathy for these twisted beings. Not after what they had done to him and those he loved.

~

_Ilithien watched as the twins, so rare to elven parents, readied themselves for their 'hunting trip'. She knew they hunted nothing but the blood of orcs on these trips. But she had never tried to persuade them to change their grieved ways as she had done with her prince._

_For the pain that tore at their dark eyes whenever they thought of their mother, thought of the pain she had suffered that they could not prevent, lashed at her heart like the cruelest of whips and she could not bear to ask it of them._

_Elrond slowly walked up behind her and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Centi minai leithian." He said softly, watching sadly as his sons spoke to each other of their hunt. _**("They seek only release.")**

_"Ai." She sighed. She watched with wounded eyes as the twins exchanged a private look, one that only they, who had shared and womb and now this pain, could understand. They clasped each others hands, unspoken words drifting in the space between them, then Elladan nodded resolutely and they left the protection of Imladris to sate the hurt in their souls with the blood of their enemy._

_Ilithien turned towards Elrond again, tears brimming in her emerald eyes. "It will never leave, will it?" She asked, venturing into an unspoken forbidden territory with the ancient lord. "The pain… the grief. Even in all our long years as the Eldar, we cannot ever escape such as this."_

_Elrond stared back at her, his eyes darkening with a silent, ever hidden grief that his sons showed so easily in their hatred and anger. He shook his head softly, a voiceless answer that spoke more volumes than any words, then turned to retreat to the silent walls of Imladris._

_"_Elbereth, berio ti_." Ilithien whispered as the twins disappeared across the bridge and into the woods. _**("Elbereth, protect them.")**

**~**

*

Legolas crested a hill and nearly screamed in satisfaction. He had found his prey, and now the hunger for blood would be satisfied.

He let out a primal cry and, white knives drawn, charged into the center of their foul camp, yearning to feel their blood on his hands.

*

Elrond signaled for his sons to retreat into the woods. They would retrieve their warriors, then destroy the creatures. But before they could move even a hand's-breadth they heard a call; an ancient, rage-filled war cry, that filled the air and seemed to vibrate the very trees they hid in.

They all stared in horror as a lone figure, tangled blond hair whipping around his head, rushed into the midst of the orcs.

*

Legolas howled in uncontrolled fury as his stainless knives tore into the flesh of an orc, spraying it's blood as the smooth blade slid through it's body like a silver fish through the black depths of the ocean. Legolas reveled in the feel of it and quickly turned towards the nearest body, slashing through the thick hide, slitting it's throat, it's dying scream coursing through Legolas' body like the fire in his veins.

As he spun again, his knives searching, his soul begging for another body, another twisted creature to die at his hands, it's blood spilt to forever stain the ground, he lost all sense of himself and what surrounded him. The only thing that was real now was the rage, the need, the ice and fire.

With stroke after endless stroke he laid waste to the horde that surrounded him, bit into their flesh, destroyed their already mangled bodies, spilt their blood until he could taste it. He did not sense the three bodies that leapt from the trees behind him and joined the battle.

*

There was no time. No time to retrieve the warriors that still waited in the woods, so close yet suddenly so very far away. If they left the prince now he would surely die. For in his rage, his blinding fury, he did not notice, or did not care, that he was fighting nearly a hundred of the perverted creatures on his own.

He had felled an astounding number of them just as the three elves watched, stunned, from the trees. But he could not, even with his wrath giving him unheard-of strength, destroy them all before they overtook him. The three leapt from the trees and instantly engaged in the fight, working always towards the lone creature at the center of the maelstrom he had created.

They slashed and parried, thrust and dodged, fighting their way to their friend, felling startled and confused orcs with a single blow. But for all they felled, an endless stream took their place and soon they found themselves divided, surrounded by twisted black bodies, fighting now for their own lives instead of their friends.

Elven warriors or not, they were hopelessly outnumbered, and Elrond watched in anguish as his sons, and the young prince that he considered as close as a son, were slowly pulled away from him, fighting for their lives, fighting for the death of the orcs they hated, but always away, away from safety, away from his protection.

He let out a terrifying cry of rage and killed three of the foul beasts with one stroke. He would not, could not let these creatures take what little he had left in this world. Fury boiled in his veins as it had so long ago and his body seemed to move of its own, propelling him toward his children, coursing through the putrid bodies like he were swatting at flies.

But just like any other swarm of flies, this one would not disappear. It came ever on, boiling around him in a clash of scimitars and armor, elven blades and the rank stench of fetid blood. A cry of pain, heard above the others only for the life that was held so dearly by the elven lord, came from his left and Elrond turned towards the sound, drawn to it like a insect to a light in the darkest night.

He watched in horror, shock, despair, as Elladan was pulled beneath the swarming mass of grotesque bodies and did not emerge again.

"ELLADAN! _BAW!" Elrohir screamed in anguish as his twin disappeared into the twisted bodies. His elven blades sang in the air as he charged towards his fallen brother. But he was blocked by a solid wall of orc bodies and he had to fight again for his own life, though a part of his mind stayed ever fixed on the last place he had seen his brother. **(… NO!")**_

*

Legolas, so lost to his rage, so distracted by the fury that destroyed any creature that came near him, did not hear the tormented cry his friend had released, did not even know his dearest friends fought with him, for him.

He felt the warm, black blood coat his hands and splatter across his face as it ran in rivers down his knives; blades that always searched for more, fed from his desire and found the aching release in the feel of flesh torn, bodies felled. He sensed nothing but the creatures around him, felt nothing but rage and grief and the unfulfilled lust that was not sated by the blood he had spilled.

Bodies fell at his feet, one after the other, and soon he found that a wider circle existed around him than the orcs had allowed before. He smiled, a twisted, sadistic smile and plunged his knives in the belly of another beast.

They feared him.

*

It was over. Elrond knew, even as he fought the foul creatures, felled them as they came and stepped lightly over the bodies to kill another, he knew they would not survive. They were locked in a cage filled with demons, with no escape. One son had already fallen, dead for all his anguished heart knew, and the other was failing fast, grief over his brother clouding his mind and bringing him down.

And the third? He had been lost before the fight had even begun.

As the orcs tightened the circle around him, he whispered a prayer and released his hope to the winds.

**To Be Continued…**

Ah, cliffhangers. How I love thee, let me count the ways. One review, two review, three review…

Translation… more reviews make for the end of evil cliffhangers. No author's gonna post if she doesn't feel loved, now will she?

What can I say, the fine art of guilt-tripping has been in my family for generations!

Until next time!

Adrienne


	6. Battle Cries

I thought I'd be nice to all my wonderful readers (even the ones who don't review *glares*), and post a day early. That and I was bored out of my mind and had nothing better to do. So here you are. Chapter 6. Enjoy. And oh yeah, I apologize for the cliffhanger in the last chapter. *author scrolls to the bottom of the chapter* Yup, yup. And for the one here too.

**To my beautiful reviewers:**

**LegolasLover2003:** You stole my line! *grins* They do say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. So… thank you! And yes, Legolas does need to get a hold of himself before something really bad happens. But just between you and me… **Warning: Spoiler!!! Do not continue to read this comment if you do not wish to have the story spoiled!** I would never kill off the twins. I love them too much. Other than Legolas they are my favorite. *hugs the twins* 

**silvertoekee****:** Is Legolas in his right mind? Umm… no. lol. And just FYI, I've already got the next three chapters after this written. I'm just not going to put them up yet. Aren't I mean? And once again, I apologize for the cliffie. But I do so love those. *grins*

**MG87:** Cruel? Torturous? Twisted? Awesome! *grins* And yes, I an counting down the days… hours… minutes as well. 59 days left!!!

**Coolio02:** Cliffies, yes. I do so love them. :)

**ElvenRanger13:** Please see to my updating schedule as stated in the author's note of chapter 3. *waits for you to look* Aren't I just so cruel? Mwahahaha!

**Estel Elven Enchantress:** Try saying your name three times fast. Trust me, it's not easy. :) And 'brilliant' you say? Why you flatter me. Thank you so much.

**Katie:** A cruel cruel person? I'm… I'm… flattered. Thank you! *grins maniacally*

**" Memories**** of Ilithien "**

**Chapter 6 - Battle Cries**

The sensation that had washed over Lindelen not long ago, filling his every being with deep sated emotions, fury, pain, fear, sorrow, had nearly overwhelmed him. For a moment he thought his mind, so congested with feelings, had collapsed, pulling him into a dangerous vortex of rage and grief. For a moment all he could see was red.

But then his eyes had cleared and all he could see was blue, but that was because he was on his back on the ground, staring at the evening sky, his faithful mare standing protectively by his side. He had quickly risen and remounted, but when he started riding again, his dear horse stretching to her utmost as he urged her on faster than before, he had changed directions. Instead of heading for the calm sanctuary of Imladris he made for the outlying woods, readying himself for what he might find. Because he had known then that the raging, red sensation had been from Legolas.

And now, he sped on foot towards the sounds of the battle, a small army of Noldor warriors racing behind him, his every thought on his brother.

*

Avarilas and Estel charged over a rise in the earth and, without so much as a seconds hesitation, raced towards the battle that raged in front of them, war cries sounding, blades drawn and ready for blood.

Across the field, from the woods, rose a matching cry.

~

_Estel stood at the side of the clearing watching the older elves, his brother's included, practice their fighting techniques. In his small hands he held a wooden sword and shield, strapped to his back was a bow with no string and a quiver without any arrows._

_He watched his eldest brother do a complicated spin with his sword, then swing the blade up 'killing' his foe, an elf named Runarei. Estel's eyes sparkled as Runarei held up his hand in surrender._

_He looked down at his own sword and twisted it around, trying to mimic the move his brother had made. He saw a squirrel out of the corner of his eyes and, having had rather bad experiences with such creatures and now disliking them greatly, he decided to try the new move out on the unsuspecting critter._

_He walked stealthily up behind it and spun his sword, almost just like his brother. But as he thrust it forwards towards the small animal another ran out from behind him, startling the boy, and he lost his footing and fell forward, landing on his sword. The squirrels darted off, disappearing into a tree. A small tear slipped from Estel's eye as sharp pain ran through his hand. He looked down to see a thin line of blood appear on his hand when an edge of the sword had cut the soft skin._

_"Learning to fight so soon, my Hope?" The soft voice of his beloved nanny asked from behind him. _

_He turned to her and held up his hand, showing her the injury. "It hurts." He sniffed, wiping at the tear with his other hand. She knelt beside him and pulled him into her arms, hugging him tightly. And as he was still young enough not to be ridiculed for such an act he hugged her back, resting his head on her shoulder for a moment._

_"Let me see." She said as she sat him down in her lap. He held his hand up for her to insect, cuddling closer to her._

_"What have we here?" Elladan asked as he and Elrohir stopped beside the pair. Estel looked up at them, then quickly turned his face away, burying it in Ilithien's shoulder, ashamed that he had been hurt while trying to perform what came so easily to his much older brothers._

_"This, my dear Elladan, is a war wound." Ilithien said proudly, holding Estel's hand out for his brother's to see. Estel peaked his head out to look as well, curiosity winning over his embarrassment. "Our little Estel was fighting off a ferocious beast, protecting our home and very lives, and as he threw the blow that scared the evil creature off, another charged from the trees behind him and wounded him as he ran away in fright."_

_The twins exchanged a look, one that was missed by their small brother who was now staring in apt fascination at his 'war wound'._

_"Well then," Elrohir said, kneeling beside the boy and placing a hand over his heart as Elladan did the same. "You have our deepest thanks, little brother." The small boy just grinned._

~

*

Elrond, sword still flashing, cutting away at twisted bodies, spilling more of the hideous black blood, though he had given up all hope of survival, heard both calls at the same moment. And, knowing them to be the help they so desperately needed, fought all the harder as the elven warriors rushed into the battle.

Out of the corner of his eye, as he slashed through another gruesome body, he saw to his horror the prince's aide and his youngest son enter the fight from across the field.

'Why not?' His mind sneered sarcastically as Estel threw himself into the battle with all the skill of an elf. But another orc came up behind him and he twirled, thrusting his sword through it's neck, his mind returning to the fight.

After what seemed like mere moments after the endless sense of hopelessness that had just passed the orcs screamed and fled, racing across the field and disappearing into the trees, leaving everything behind in their haste to get away from the fighting elves. Though four fighting elves were not enough to scare them, an entire company of them were.

As the orcs fled and his warriors chased after them, their blades still singing for the blood of the foul creatures, Elrond's eyes immediately searched out his sons. Elrohir was standing in the center of the fallen bodies, a haunted look in his large eyes as they dartingly searched through the carcasses for the other half of his very soul, fallen in the battle who knew how long ago.

Elrond's quick eyes told him that Estel was racing into the woods after… Legolas. He barely saw a flash of golden hair as the young prince disappeared into the large trunks. He was about to run after his youngest son when a despairing cry reminded him that he still had one more to find.

"_Adar!" Elrohir's scream pierced through Elrond and he spun around, fearing what he would find._

In the midst of the stinking, warped bodies his middle child sat on the ground, cradling the limp head of his twin in his lap. He looked up into his father's eyes, his own eyes filled with tears that were streaming down his thin, pale face, desperate for his father to come make it better like he had done when they were small. 

Elrond cast one last glance at the forest, his youngest child no longer visible in the dense wood, then raced to Elrohir's side. It pained him greatly to leave Estel on his own, but he knew, the knowledge a sour ball in the pit of his stomach, that if he lost Elladan, he would lose Elrohir as well.

He reached a shaking hand out to his oldest child and felt for a pulse.

*

Legolas had heard the orcs scream in terror and, looking up, finally realized that he was not alone. In fact, he was now almost surrounded by fighting elves. But when the foul beasts started to flee his mind returned to it's hidden place of rage and he raced after them into the forest, his hunger for their blood still running strong.

He followed them, cutting at their cowardly, retreating backs, felling them as he ran. Their ranks split and scattered around the forest and he followed after the largest group, keeping careful thought as to where the others went so he could track them and slay them later.

One of the orcs in front of him hissed and spun around, aiming a crossbow at his chest. The bow twanged it's release and Legolas leapt from the ground, jumping into the familiar canopy of the trees, laughing a sadistic laugh as the arrow embedded harmlessly in a tree truck and he started to chase after them from the air.

His first instinct was to pull his own bow from his back and shoot back at them as he ran safely from tree to tree, but he forced himself not to, knowing that the only thing that could sate his hunger was to feel their flesh dying beneath his hands.

At the first opportunity he leapt from the tree into the center of the fleeing orcs, taking down two of their number with the initial blow of his landing and automatically spinning one knife, it's twin lost in the field, buried beneath the slain orcs, flashing silver and black in the dim light. He killed two more with the first spin, another on the return swing.

The orcs, their numbers dwindling by the moment, screamed in terror and tried to run, tried to escape the raging insanity of the elf, but his fury gave him unnatural speed. He took down the final three, a pleasure filling his very soul as they screamed their last breath, their blood spilling onto his hands. But the feeling quickly faded again, leaving him yearning for more.

His own blood boiled as his feet pounded back towards the others.

*

The fight had lasted only minutes after Estel and Avarilas had reached the battle. For at the same time they had, so had a host of the warriors that had gone with his father and brothers. He had no time to wonder why they were not already there.

Estel has quickly dispatched of the first orc that attacked him and then nimbly made his way towards the prince of Mirkwood, dodging crude scimitars and delicate yet deadly elven blades as he kept the golden hair in his sight. 

When he reached the prince he was both surprised and confused to find that this was not the elf he searched for. Though this elf also wore the insignia of the royal house of Mirkwood, and though he bore a startling resemblance to the house's youngest son, this was not Legolas.

He also had no time to think about this as an orc grabbed him from behind and tried to pull him down. He spun out of the hold and turned, sword out, spinning with him, killing the creature in one smooth movement. Then the orcs howled in anger and… fear, and they started to retreat towards the woods.

That's when Estel had seen the only other golden head in all the battle, charging full force into the dark forest, felling orcs even as Estel watched. The young human automatically went after the prince.

And now he was surrounded by the shadowy forest, tree branches snapping at his face as he chased down the retreating orcs and searched for the prince at the same time. And even with all the tracking skills he had learned he found the prince, quite literally, by running into him.

The prince of Mirkwood had been racing through the dense trees, his footfalls silent, and had not seen or heard the young human until he had gracelessly fallen into a heap on the forest floor, entangled in the boy's limbs.

"Get off me, human," The prince hissed as he shoved Estel off him with a careless thrust. "Or I might be tempted to 'accidentally' gut you in the dark."

"My prince, please." Estel begged, rising with the elf and racing after him as he ran off yet again. "This is madness. You have done all you can, now let the others take care of the rest. Come back to Imladris with me."

Legolas spun around and grabbed Estel by the throat, nearly pulling him off his feet. "I will not rest until I have slain every last one of the abominable creatures that destroyed Ilithien. And if you get in my way again, I will count you as an unavoidable casualty."

He released Estel, the human staggering back a few steps as the grip around his throat fell away. The rage in the elf's eyes had terrified him. But he knew not what to do as the elf once again took off into the woods. 

To leave him in this state may prove fatal, for Estel had seen, even in the dim light, that there was more than just the black of orc blood staining the prince's clothes. The stubborn elf did not even notice his own injuries, so intent was he on destroying that which he could not even touch.

But Estel also knew that to follow him may prove fatal to himself. 'You did all you could.' He told himself as he turned to find his way out of the forest. 'The prince knows of his own danger. If he dies now it is his own fault.'

And Estel mostly believed that.

**To Be Continued…**

Ah, parting is such sweet sorrow. A review here and there would take away much of the pain.

Until next time!

Adrienne


	7. Broken and Scattered

*gasps* Could it be… a… a long chapter? Can I do that? Am I aloud? Hold on one moment; let me get my Author's Handbook. … Hmm… Would you look at that. It says here that long chapters are preferred. Who knew? 

*loudness ensues from the background as many readers give their answers*

Oh, _you_ did? Well why didn't you tell me? 

*ducks flying vegetables*

*author peels rotten lettuce from hair* Well, despite your protests I'm sorry to say that long chapters are just not in my future criteria. And I know this because… *dramatic music plays* I've finished the story!! Yup, it's 100% done. There are 11 chapters in all. Cool huh? What? What's that? Why don't I start posting more often? Well, if I did that you guys wouldn't have time to review all the chapters. And I want everyone to have the opportunity to do so. :)

**To my lovely, and numerous *grins*, reviewers - **

**MG87 - **Yes, yes Elladan's condition was quite the upset to you, my lovely readers. Well, read on to see how our dear eldest twin fairs. And as for the cliffies, I do so enjoy them? *gives an evil grin*

**Coolio02 - **Why thank you!

**Deana - **Thank you very much. And as for our dear elf and ranger, we'll just have to see now won't we.

**aragorns-gurls33**** - **Cliffies are evil aren't they? But I do so love them. As for the insanity and rage, ect. do not worry. I'll say no more than that that. *grins* And I place Estel at around 18 years, give or take. And the elvish I got from a wonderful wonderful sight with a program you can download called 'Dragon Flame'. It's kinda like a Sindarin to English dictionary. It's very helpful. But I sadly do not remember the address. I deleted it after I downloaded the program. But if you e-mail me (addy found in my profile) I may just have tracked it down by then, because yes, I would like to be _lín__ mellon. Thy friend. There is no word in Sindarin for 'your'. That happens a lot though, so substitutes are necessary. I hope to hear from you soon!_

**silvertoekee**** - **Cliffhangers, how do I love thee? I know, I know, I hate it when author's do it to me, then I turn around and do it to my readers. Ah well. What can a girl do? And you should know by now that I don't update quickly. *grins*

**Mokingbird4 - **Yes, yes it is. *grins* Thanks so much!

**ElvenRanger13 - **Aren't I though? *laughs maniacally* 

**Cosmic Castaway - **I like your name, it's cool. *crosses arms angrily* But I do not respond well to threats. You should expect a very meanly worded letter in the mail. Just as soon as I find your real name, your address, and my stationary set. *grins* 

**elfmage**** - **Ah yes, angst is fun. I'm glad you enjoyed it so far, I hope the same is true for the future.

**LegolasLover2003 - **Hehe. You actually stole it again. My 'until next time' line. And your welcome for the chapter, and yes I agree Estel needs to help Legolas. But will he? *dramatic music ensues*

**CrazyStar314 - **I am more than willing to offer our dear elf a hug, as I'm sure is everyone else here. *grins* Maybe if he gets enough he won't be so psychotic. 

**"Memories of Ilithien"**

**Chapter 7 - Broken and Scattered**

Lindelen paced nervous circles across the battle-stained field. It had been over an hour since the Noldor warriors had returned, the orcs slain in the dark woods, but his young brother was still on the hunt. The elder prince was exhausted, after his mad run from Mirkwood, followed immediately by the battle; his body felt as if it were made of stone and his limbs barely moved. But he would not give in to the exhaustion until his brother was safe. He could not rest while he was in peril.

The eldest prince looked around the field, at all those that had helped to save his brother. At the warriors that were piling the dead carcasses. Avarilas, whose shoulders hunched in shame as he cast despairing looks towards the forest, searching for his lord and friend. The twins, one badly wounded, the other holding on to him as if to chain him to this life. And at the young human who helped to clean the ruined field, a guilty, sorrowful expression in his impossibly young eyes.

Elrond walked up beside him, leaving the few wounded elves in the care of others, as Lindelen made to start another anxious circle across the grass. When Elrond stopped beside him the much younger elf stopped pacing and bowed, hand to his heart.

"Any word?" The elf lord asked, nodding in acknowledgement as the prince straightened.

Lindelen shook his head. "The trees will not speak to me. They concentrate on him. He always had a stronger relationship with the forests than I."

"But he lives yet?" Elrond asked, one eyebrow rising in question. Lindelen nodded. "Then do not fear for him, Prince, for your brother is strong."

Lindelen nodded again, knowing what the ancient elf said was true, but as Elrond turned to leave he started to pace once again.

*

"I am sorry, _Ada." Estel said softly, his head bowed in shame as his father gently pulled him away from the elves._

"I know you are, Estel." Elrond replied, placing a gentle hand under the boy's chin and lifting his head. "I did not come here to reprimand you." Estel nodded but would not meet the elf's wise eyes.

"Why did you release him, Estel?" Elrond asked after a moment of silence.

Estel turned away from his father again, his eyes looking out towards the horizon and the setting sun. "Estel?" The elf lord asked softly, placing a comforting hand on his foster son's shoulder.

"He said my father was weak." The young human choked out, tears filling his gray eyes. "And that is why he died. He said I only lived at Imladris because you pitied me."

Elrond sighed and pulled his youngest child into his arms, wrapping him protectively in his embrace. "_Ion nin," He whispered, stroking the boy's hair as the young human moved closer to his father, burrowing into the elf's neck as the tears threatened to fall. "The prince was angry and knew what it would take to hurt you. It is not true." **("My son,")**_

"But he meant it." Estel cried softly, pulling away from the elf lord, wiping at the tears on his face. The rpince's statements, the vehemence behind the awful words, had made the young human wonder if perhaps all elves thought as the prince did.

"Perhaps." Elrond said, the look in his ancient eyes not betraying any feeling at all. "But you must understand, Estel, the prince has been hurt deeply by mankind. And it is not a pain that will ever fade I fear."

"I've heard all this before!" Estel shouted, gaining the attention of several others on the field. He glanced at them, embarrassed and quickly quieted, though none of the anger left his eyes. "All my years at Imladris I have been told that something happened to him. Ever since the first day we encountered each other and he threatened my life, much like he did today in the woods when I did nothing but try to help him. 

And in all this time none will tell me what happened! I don't even know why the prince hates me when I have done nothing to him. I don't know why every time he saw me with Ilithien he glared at me as if he wished nothing more than to slit my throat, when I wished them nothing but happiness!"

"Estel." Elrond tried to sooth his angry son.

"No!" Estel cried, backing away from his father's hands. "I will not be calmed. I will not hear again that I cannot know. If you want me to be civil to the prince, if you want me to act as if he doesn't hate me, then I should at least be allowed the courtesy of knowing why he does."

Elrond sighed. "I cannot tell you."

"Then do not expect anything from me in the future where it concerns him." Elrond watched sadly as the young human stalked away.

'Ah, Ilithien.' He sighed to himself as the boy sat down beside his brothers. 'The two men you love most are falling to bits at my feet and I can do nothing for them. What am I to do?'

*

~

_Lindelen_ stepped out of the room and quietly closed the door behind him. Tears brightened his royal blue eyes. "He will see no one." He whispered, the pain lacing his voice like a mourner's veil. "It is as if he cannot sense me, or anyone. He fears every touch, every voice. He cries out in his sleep, begging for them to stop hurting him. My brother has never begged for anything in his life."__

_"Perhaps he needs…" King Thranduil's tentative words faded away as Ilithien, the youngest of the elves present and by far the least experienced, stepped from the back of the group of anxious elves and grasped the handle of the bedroom door._

_"Ilithien, do not-" Elrond started, but she gently held up a hand, her eyes imploring his silence. The king had requested the great healer's help the moment he learned of what condition his son had been found in, and Ilithien had come with him, not surprising to anyone. But for all his knowledge the elf lord could do nothing for the torment in the prince's soul._

_"I know what I am doing." She said softly, confidently. "Trust me."_

_She entered the room silently, leaving the door slightly ajar so that those outside could see, but clearly stating they were to stay out. She walked over to the bed that the injured prince lay on and sat down beside him. Those left in the hallway cringed when he whimpered and pulled away from her in his sleep._

_This had happened innumerable times since the young prince had been brought back to his home. Many had tried to comfort him, pulling him into their arms and whispering soothing words into his ear as they rocked him or held him close. But it had done nothing but cause the prince to panic, to fight them._

_Ilithien_ did none of these things. She did not even move to touch him when he pulled away. She simply sat in silence, staring down at the frightened prince. After a moment the elves in the hallway heard a soft voice float out from the room.__

_She was singing._

_Her voice was soft, barely discernable even to the elves sharp ears, and melodic as all elven voices are. But there was nothing extraordinary about her voice, nothing to set her apart from any other. The prince himself could capture entire courts in rapture as he sang, his voice stirring their very souls with songs of love or valor. _

_But now they listened in awe as this elf maiden, barely more than a child in their eyes, sang a gentle song, a babe's lullaby, to their prince; and watched, amazed, as the features on his distressed face relaxed and his body sank gradually into the mattress, peacefully asleep for the first time since he had been returned home._

_Ilithien_ stayed by his side until the song had finished, then silently stood and left the room, closing the door behind her. The other elves, all far older and more experienced than she, and none able to calm the prince as she had, stared in awe.__

_"How…" Lindelen trailed off, at a loss for words._

_"Your mother used to sing that song to him when he was a child." She stated softly. "He told me so, many years ago."_

_"But how did you know it would work?" Elrond asked, completely entranced by this young maid._

_"His mind is not in a place right now that he understands the things you say to him. Your words of safety and peace fall deafly, as if you had not even said them for his mind will not let them comprehend. I believe he is inadvertently trying to protect himself by blocking out all that is around him. The song appealed to his subconscious. His mother is long lost, yet he still finds comfort in her, deep inside himself. And for now, that is the only place you may be able to reach him. Far away from this world and the things in it."_

_She shrugged, then walked away to leave them to their thoughts._

_"That child," Elrond said, once she was out of earshot. "Is a miracle."_

~

Lindelen stopped pacing and cast another look at the dark trees. It was almost night, the sun nothing but a fiery sliver in the west, tiny stars starting to twinkle in the opposite horizon. It did not matter to the elves if it grew dark, but the eldest prince of Mirkwood was now very worried for his brother. He sent one more look towards the other elves then, grabbing his bow from it's place at his back, started towards the shadowy woods.

But he had no need, for at that moment a dark figure stepped out from their dark branches, a determined look set on his blood smeared face.

The youngest prince strode across the field into the midsts of the dead bodies, his dark eyes searching for something amongst the carcasses, many of which he had created. In moments he spotted it, grabbing the blood covered knife from the ground, pulling it from the chest of an orc, then he straightened and continued on, past the bodies, past the pile of flesh the others had created and on towards the mountains.

*

Elladan, his eyes half closed against the intense pain in his side, saw the Mirkwood prince as he emerged from the woods. The look in his empty eyes sent chills down the twin's spine. He squeezed his twin's leg, gaining the younger elf's attention, and pointed at the retreating form.

"_Nor-an ho_." He said, in too much pain to bother with any language but his own. Elrohir started to protest, but Elladan fixed his eyes with a glare that reminded the younger twin very much of his father. "Elrohir, _e baurna le im_." Elladan hissed, a wave of fire coursing up his side. **("Go to him.") ("…, he needs you [more than] I.")**

Elrohir looked down into his twin's identical eyes; a pain that mirrored his own, though for a different purpose, looked back at him. His brother needed him, Elrohir knew. Needed his strength while his was gone. But the younger twin also knew that his brother would live, and their friend was still in great danger of this. With regret and acceptance Elrohir nodded and quickly stood, though it tore his heart to leave his brother's side. As always a part of him stayed with his twin as he made to go after the prince.

Elrohir's abandoned place at Elladan's side was promptly replaced by Estel; the young human glared at the retreating back of the prince as his brother followed after him.

*

Avarilas watched Legolas as he emerged from the forest, watched as he reclaimed his knife from the orc's body and as he started his purposeful stride across the blood soaked field. But he did not follow him. He could not. He had failed his prince, again.

From birth Avarilas had been trained to protect the prince, placed in his service at the young age of 150 years, he had been with him for all the long centuries since. And now he had failed him a second time. No, he could not face his prince.

*

Lindelen quickly ran after his brother.

"_Daro_ sen, muindor_." He beseeched Legolas in their own tongue, grabbing the younger elf's shoulder and halting his resolute progress across the field, his own exhaustion pushed aside once again. **("Stop this, brother.")**_

Legolas pulled out of his grasp and continued towards the dark mountains; threatening piles of stone, their tops blood red from the setting sun. "The orcs of this band are dead." He said, his voice harsh, cruel; a far cry from the beauty of that which his brother had last heard in their home. "The trees told me that none escaped."

"If they are dead then where do you go?" Lindelen asked, once again reaching for his brother. But this time Legolas spun away from his hands, his pace quickening.

"I go to their lair in the mountains." He said, his words as cold as ice. 

"Legolas, stop this. It is folly, you cannot kill them all!" Lindelen cried, following his brother closely.

"Watch me." Legolas hissed.

"Legolas, look at yourself!" Lindelen exclaimed, gesturing at his brother's body. 

The prince looked, lightly speaking, horrifying. 

His once royal clothes were soaked through in blood, the disgusting black of the orcs and crimson red of his own. They were torn in innumerous places, barely holding on to the prince's lean body as he walked on. Blood, dirt, and twigs from the forest coated his formerly shining hair in a grotesque mask. The same covered the skin of his face; it's once sharp angles and royal frame now hidden beneath layers of filth.

And that which went beyond his physical appearance was somehow more frightening. His eyes burned with hatred, their deep blue depths drowning the older prince in their flames of rage. His breath came out in ragged, icy gasps, racing past his blood stained lips in frosty puffs. And his hands, once the steady, skilled hands of a legendary archer, now shook uncontrollably, gripping his bloodied knives as if they were a lifeline.

The sight of his once proud, regal brother, now broken and scattered into a wind that tore the pieces away like fallen leaves, horrified the heir of Mirkwood. Lindelen could nearly forget that this creature before him was his brother, so changed he had become in the past weeks.

Legolas just kept walking, ignoring his brother's desperate words.

Another voice called out from behind them as a new elf joined their pace on the plain. "Legolas, _daro_!" Elrohir demanded. **("… ,stop!")**

For this Legolas stopped, and Lindelen sighed in relief; until he saw the dangerous fire in his brother's eyes. Legolas spun around to face the Noldor elf, his blood-matted hair whipping him in the face. His stained lips curled back in a sneer and a growl escaped his throat.

"Do not speak to me." He hissed at Elrohir; the rage in his eyes stopped the elf in his tracks. "This is your fault." He spat, a wave of grief crossing his eyes, quickly replaced with hatred. "It is your fault Ilithien is dead. You were supposed to protect her! You should have protected her! But you couldn't. Once again you and your pathetic brother were too weak. You abandoned her, just like your mother. She died because you could not help her!"

Elrohir, despite the cruelty of the remarks, forced them to fall away from him. He knew his friend; he knew he did not mean what he said. "Legolas, you can't-"

Legolas growled again and spun back around, ignoring Elrohir's words, returning to his march towards the mountains. But Elrohir would not give up that easily. He reached out a hand, grabbing the prince's shoulder, trying to restrain him. Legolas spun around once more, bringing his clenched fist up into the spin. And, using the force of his body, he struck Elrohir with the double force of his fist and the back of his knife.

The Noldor, propelled by the force of the blow, reeled away from the prince, landing with a thud in an ungraceful heap on the ground. An angry cry rang out from the forest's edge behind them. Legolas turned and started running for the mountains.

*

Estel had watched the exchange from his place with Elladan, unable to hear, but still able to see the long distance they had gone, even in the darkening light. Elladan as well had watched, and screamed in anger when the prince had struck his brother. He nearly screamed again in frustration when he remembered that he was in no condition to go after the elf that had dared to attack his twin.

Estel was though, and he went with a vengeance.

**To Be Continued…**

*gasp* What have I done? Poor Legolas, poor Elrohir, poor Elladan. But as you can see, I did not kill anyone off. I couldn't. Especially not one of the twins. I love them too much. Other than Legolas they are my favorite characters. And they get to little time in the books. *cries* Oh well. Tolkien will do as Tolkien will do. It is up to us fanfiction author's to manipulate his great works into the way we want them. *grins*

And just FYI, that's about all the info you're going to be getting on Legolas' reasoning behind his hatred for men in this story. But never fear because I already have plans for my next story which will give you the rest of the information. *grins* 

So yes, my story is done, and I may start posting more often, say… twice a week instead? But, now I'm going to do what I HATE other author's do (I'll despise myself later) and say that I'll only update more often if I continue to receive, at the very least, the same amount of reviews per chapter as I have in the past. If I think that updating more often makes you guys lazy and not review *grins*, then I'll stop. K? So, I will post the next chapter, probably Wednesday of Thursday. I love you all! You encourage me to be a better writer.

Until next time…

Adrienne


	8. Lines of Blood

*cries* You're all so good to me. I'm so mad at myself, demanding that you review. I hate that. It seems so petty and manipulative and here I go and do it to my own wonderful reviewers. *cries some more*

Legolas: You know, you didn't really demand that they review, just that they **continue** to review. So it's really not all that bad.

Author: Hmm… that is true. Well okay. I don't feel so bad now. *grins*

**To my loyal-even-after-my-horrible-demands reviewers -**

**LegolasLover2003 - **Use away dear reviewer. As with everything else, I do not own the phrase. :P I always love you review. lol. They're so much fun.

**Estel Elven Enchantress - **Yes, Elladan is the older one. Tolkien said so, somewhere. lol. I don't know where. And I was not holding them for ransom! *pouts* :P

**ElvenRanger13 - **Yes, yes. Very evil.

**Deana - **Yes, our dear elf should definitely look into some serious counseling. *lays Legolas out on couch and takes out pad and pencil* So… Legolas is it? Well, Legolas, tell me about your mother… :P

**silvertoekee - **I was surprised as well. Plot bunnies like that have a tendency to show up when least expected. *grins* And yes, bribery. *shakes head* Still mad at myself for that. Ah well. What's an author to do.

**Coolio02 - **Well thank you and here you are.

**MG78 - ***hands you a few 'chill' pills* Now take a deep breath… there you go. Good, good. The update has arrived and you may cease to panic now. Although your impromptu review brought me up to 50, so thank you for that. And as for the next story… while I have the idea in my head, I have as of yet not started the writing process, so I should say to be looking for it… about 2 weeks after this one has finished.

**" Memories of Ilithien "**

**Chapter 8 - Lines of Blood**

Lindelen immediately knelt beside Elrohir when the Noldor fell to the ground. Blood seeped through the brunette's finger which he clasped against his cheekbone and, gently pulling his hand away, Lindelen winced at the long gash that now adorned the younger twin's face, a testimony to the force of Legolas' blow, for he had used the blunt side of his knife.

Lindelen sighed, his shoulders falling in sadness and defeat. That madness that encompassed his young brother, the insanity that would cause him to raise his hands against a dear friend, was beyond what Lindelen could help. He sent a prayer to the Valar for his tormented brother. 

Lindelen helped Elrohir to his feet, steadying him as he teetered dangerously, his head reeling from the blow. As they turned to return to the others, leaving Legolas to his own fate, they caught sight of another figure racing out into the plain after Legolas' retreating back.

"Estel, don't-" Elrohir started to shout, but the pain caused by his now throbbing cheek quickly cut off the reply. He cast desperate eyes towards his brother. If the prince could fell him, a warrior trained for thousands of years, and his friend for nearly as long, he would certainly kill the young human, who he hated.

Elrohir quickly turned his eyes towards Lindelen, the desperation now companied by a plea. Lindelen saw this and nodded calling out for Elrond to assist Elrohir, waiting for the elf lord to come before quickly running after his brother and the human, now barely visible in the darkening night air, even to his elven eyes.

*

"Legolas, _daro_!" Estel demanded as he approached the prince. **(… , stop!")**

The prince of Mirkwood nearly laughed aloud as the human came up beside him. "Leave me, human, if you do not wish for your filthy carcass to join those of the orcs."

Estel growled, the prince's comments enraging him further, and grabbed the elf's shoulder, spinning him around. The look on the prince's face seemed almost bored as he looked at the human. "What is it you wish to accomplish, human?" He asked scornfully. "I am one of the Eldar. You can do nothing to me." 

"You have caused me and mine too much pain this day. I will not allow you to go unpunished." The young human seethed, his grip on the prince's shoulder tightening.

"I could kill you now, human, and none would mourn your passing." Legolas sneered, twisting out of Estel's hold.

But as he turned to leave Estel brought his fist up, the bones in his hand and those on Legolas' jaw cracking as they collided. The elf staggered back a pace, shock in his eyes as he stared at the boy.

"I will listen to no more of your lies." Estel hissed.

Legolas lifted one bloodstained hand to his face and felt the warmth of fresh blood, his blood, seep from his lip in two thin lines. His eyes widened, in shock, in pain, in… fear? Estel blinked as he watched the prince's reaction. What had he done?

~

_Ilithien sat on the edge of Legolas' bed watching the prince whose eyes stared vacantly at the ceiling. She knew that his eyes, so devoid of life, watched something that now belonged to his past. She slowly reached out a hand and brushed her fingertips across the prince's upturned palm, her touch as light as a feather on the cracked skin._

_Even with this small touch Legolas flinched, knocked out of his memory. His eyes, still hollow, turned slowly to her. He said no words as he watched her, and she ached to hear his soft voice express more than fear._

_"What you see in no longer real, my prince." She whispered, her voice for once not causing the prince to shy away. "The memories will fade in time; the visions of your past will leave your eyes."_

_He simply stared at her, his eyes unblinking. Both elves stared at each other for a long while, their thoughts pooling in their heads like a summer rain but not making their way past either set of lips, hers set softly in an impassive line, his cracked and dry, barely healed after all this time. _

_After a few minutes of silence a loud crash was heard outside the room in the direction of the forest. Legolas immediately tensed and moved towards the other end of the bed, away from the sound. Ilithien's brow creased in confusion and she stood, walking quickly towards the balcony that was joined to the prince's room. She opened the thick curtains, sunlight flooding the room in a wash of gold, and pushed open the doors that lead to the balcony._

_She was greeted with the sight of two elf children grappling on the wide balcony. As she stepped out towards them, a reprimand on her lips, one child freed himself from the other and raced into the room, the other quickly on his heels. Three more elves, these clearly older than the others and dressed in the garb of the palace guard, jumped down from the balcony above Ilithien, landing lightly on their feet._

_"Forgive me, lady." One said as he straightened. "We have been chasing them from one side of the palace to the other; we cannot seem to catch them."_

_"I do not care if you catch them, get them out of the prince's room!" She shouted, pointing angrily at the open door._

_The three guards blanched. In their haste to catch the children they had not realized where they were. The prince's rooms had been strictly off limits, under serious penalty, since the time of his return. The guards quickly raced into the palace, Ilithien following closely behind._

_A quick sweep of the room told Ilithien all she needed to know. The children were on the floor again, struggling over an object in one of their small hands, knocking over anything that got in their way, creating more noise than had graced this wing of the palace for over 3 weeks._

_And Legolas, who had been watching the children in apt fascination, upon seeing the guards enter the room sprang from the bed and backed away to the farthest corner of the room, his eyes wide and emanating fear as he watched the grown elves._

_The guards strode across the room, one grabbing each child by the back of their collar, pulling them away from each other and pushing them towards the door. Once the children were free from the room, running down the hall still arguing over the unknown object, the guards turned towards the prince their eyes showing a mixture of concern and remorse._

_"I am sorry, my Prince." One guard implored, taking a step towards the cowering elf, his hands out in apology. "We did not realize-"_

_But as the guard stepped towards Legolas the look in his sea-blue eyes turned from cautious fear to a terrified horror, visions appearing before his eyes, twisting the scene before him to that of nightmares. The guard continued to approach the prince, and before Ilithien could stop him he had placed one delicate hand on the frozen being._

_Ilithien watched as Legolas' mind snapped._

_He wheeled away from the startled guard, his cracked lips parting to release a terrified scream. "Baw! Saes avo haru nin! Saes!_" He ran towards the open balcony doors but collided with an upturned chair, sending him to the floor. _**("No! Please don't hurt me! Please!")**_

_He sat up and spun quickly around, turning his eyes once again to the three guards, now enemies in is terrified mind. His lips were parted, taking in shallow breaths, and thin lines of blood coursed from them and down his chin where the dry cracks had split. A tear slipped from Ilithein's dark green eyes as she looked into his hallow eyes and saw that his mind once again retreated to the place of safety to which none of them could follow._

_His blank eyes stared at nothing as he wrapped his arms around his bent knees. The blood slipped unhindered down his chin. Ilithien brushed the tear away and placed her hand on one of the stuttering guard's arms, pulling him from the room and motioning for the others to follow. There was nothing they could do for the prince when he retreated from the world._

~

Legolas licked the blood from his lips and sneered. "You have made your last mistake." He hissed, his eyes calm, cold, reflecting the darkness of the night that had settled it's hold around them at last.

His body slowly coiled into a mass of rigid muscles, preparing for a strike. He raised his hand; his knife glinted in the last dying rays of Anor. As he brought his hand back down Estel prepared for the blow, for he knew he could not outfight, nor outrun the elf.

He prepared to die.

**To Be Continued…**

Evil, evil cliffhangers. Don't you just hate them? *laughs evilly* 

And yes, I know you all wanted Estel to beat the crap out of Legolas, especially after what he did to one half of everyone's favorite elf twins. And I must admit, the thought did strike my fancy as well. But then I got to thinking… teenage, inexperienced human VS 3000 year old warrior elf in a blood rage. Frankly, the kids lucky to have gotten the one good hit.

And yes also, I know I have turned Legolas into a crying, pathetic sap in the 'memories'. But I promise promise promise, this story is the ONLY place you will **ever** see that. He will not ever ever be a pathetic sap in **any** of my other stories. I just don't like it. I mean, I'm going to explain **why** he's acting that way, but you will never actually **see** him be that way again. I just… no. Just no.

And on one final more personal note, my big sister came home today from California to visit! I'm so happy; I haven't seen her in 2 months. But she has to go right back. *cries* Oh well. It was really nice to see her.

Until next time!

Adrienne


	9. Lines of Tears

I meant to update yesterday, I really did. But I went on an impromptu sleep-over (you're never too old for sleep-overs!), so I couldn't. I'm soo sorry I made you guys wait this long, it was not my intention. Please forgive me!

**To my most awesome reviewers -**

**silvertoekee**** -** Yes, even elves are not perfect. I'm glad I didn't turn everyone off with my horrendous depiction of Legolas in the 'memory'.

**grumpy**** -** Why thank you, and yes I agree. 3000 years is more than enough time to be wise. Apparently our dear elf needs a little extra though. :P

**MG87 -** Wonderfully torturous? Cool. I was just hoping to get you all to come back. *grins* As for those chill pills, I've got lots. People keep giving them to me but I never use them. They're such downers. *hands you a baggie of pills* All yours, babe! :P

**Deana -** Yes, yes it was.

**Templa**** Otmena** **- **Thank you very much. I'm always glad to hear what people think of the story, instead of the story line. Did that make any sense? lol. And as far as Ilithien goes, I really like her too. To bad she's dead. *grins* By the way, what does your name mean? It's really pretty.

**ElvenRanger13 -** I know. Aren't I aweful?

**I LOVE LEGOLAS!! -** Hey, I love him too. *grins* And thank you!

**Collio02 -** I agree, he most certainly deserved it.

**Estel Elven Enchantress -** Nope, sorry, not gonna happen. And thanks for the positive feedback on the whole weak-and-pathetic!Legolas thing. I was really worried about that, but I've gotten such great reviews about it, and how it wasn't a bad thing. It made me feel a LOT better about it, let me tell you. :)

**LegolasLover2003 -** *cringes* I know, I know! All my chapters are so short. I hate that, but there's really not much I can do about it. *shrugs* I almost thought that you weren't going to review chapter 8. I'm glad I waited. *grins* I felt so sad when I didn't get a review from you. Thanks for doing so, even if it was at the last minute. It made my day!

**"Memories of Ilithien"**

**Chapter 9 - Lines of Tears**

~

_"Ilithien?"__ Estel asked as he and the she-elf walked the paths of Imladris. They had just been to visit the grave of Gilraen, Estel's mother, and were now slowly returning to the large house at the center of the valley._

_"Yes, my Hope?" Ilithien asked, glancing over at the boy. He was growing so fast, nearly 15 years old now and far more physically advanced than the elf children his age. Compared to him they were but children, and he nearly a man._

_"Will you… what will happen to you when… when I die?" He asked, watching her out of the corner of his eye. He had spent the last ten years in the city of elves and he knew more about them than any other human in existence. He knew they slept with their eyes open, he knew that they did not feel the cold, and he knew that they could die of grief._

_"My heart will break." Ilithien said softly. She reached one delicate hand up and brushed his cheek with her fingertips, their eyes meeting for a moment before they continued their walk._

_"Will you…" Estel was hesitant to ask this next question; for inside his heart was torn. "Will you… pass to the Halls of Mandos?" He asked quietly. He feared the answer, for though he wished for someone to love him that much, so much that their own lives meant nothing without him, his greatest fear was to be the cause of an immortal, or any, death. Sometimes he thought that it would be better to go unloved all his life than to be the cause of such a terrible act._

_Ilithien__ stopped on the path and turned towards him, taking his too-large hands in her own and looking into his dark eyes._

_"Estel, your passing will leave a hole in my heart that will never be filled in all of eternity." She said softly, smiling sadly at that which she knew was inevitable. "But even with your death I will still have much on this earth to live for."_

_"Like the prince?" Estel asked. Unlike the prince's view toward him, Estel was happy that Ilithien had someone whom she loved and who loved her back just as much._

_"Yes, like Legolas." Ilithien said, squeezing his hands gently. "And also, after your death, as long as I live a part of you will as well. In the memories I hold of you." Estel smiled at this._

_"For all my long years after your death I will tell any soul who will listen of the young _Edan_ who stole my heart. I love you, my Hope. And I will never forget you." She leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on his brow. When she pulled away he was smiling._ **(… Human …)**

_He was about to say something in reply, but a loud voice called out from the path in front of them. "Estel! Where are you? We're going hunting, come with us!" Elrohir's voice shouted. Estel smiled again then ran up the path, shouting back at his brother._

_As he disappeared around a bend Ilithien wiped away the tears that slipped down her pale cheeks._

~

The air around Estel became thick. Thick with rage, and fear. Thick with insanity, and dying hope. The world around them, man and elf, constricted, screaming of the death, the murder, that was about to take place. Estel closed his eyes and prepared for the killing blow.

But he felt nothing. Instead he heard a scream. A scream filled with rage and contempt and fear and horrified realization. He opened his eyes to see Legolas wrapped tightly in the arms of the other elf prince, the one Estel had seen during the fight.

The knife Legolas had held, the one that had come so close to taking Estel's life, now lay useless on the ground as Lindelen held Legolas, pinning his arms to his sides, forcing him to stop struggling. Legolas growled in frustration, jerking in his brother's arms.

"Release me!" He demanded as the other elf's hold tightened. 

"No." The older prince said calmly, gently, pulling Legolas away from Estel, one slow, struggling step at a time. "Not until you cease this madness. Legolas, do you realize what you do? You have threatened the life of the only creature on this earth that Ilithien loved as much as you. If she were here she would be horrified with you."

"I do not care!" Legolas shouted, still struggling. He had managed to work his arms loose and now he pushed at his brother's chest, trying to force him to break his hold. But the other elf held all the stronger, pinning Legolas to him, his hands firm but surprisingly gentle as he held his fighting brother.

"I do not care what Ilithien thought of that filth!" Legolas growled, his eyes dancing with icy fury. "It is his fault she is dead!"

"Legolas-" Lindelen started, but he was cut off by a harsh kick to his leg.

"No!" Legolas screamed, fighting like a cat tied in a bag and tossed into a river, all manner of training leaving his mind as he twisted and kicked and pounded his fists like an angry child against his brother. "I will not hear your words! For mine speak true. If it were not for him Ilithien would be alive today. For she never would have left me. She returned to Rivendell only for him. If he had not come she would have stayed in Mirkwood, safe with me.

I would have protected her. I would have kept her safe. But she returned, to watch over him 'til his death. She returned to the place that cost her her life. She returned to him, to them. To those who could not protect her. They did not protect her. Why did they not protect her?"

He was babbling now, letting out words that he barely heard, no longer struggling in his brother's hold. He slumped in the older elf's arms, his body finally giving in, showing the signs of fatigue caused by blood loss and the strain of battle. His breathing was labored, his chest heaving against Lindelen's, and his eyelids sagged in exhaustion. 

"They let her die." His mumbled words continued. "They let her be taken and tortured. They did nothing to stop her pain. Her suffering. He allowed her to leave, to go where she was not protected, not safe. And they did not protect her. They did not keep her safe. They stayed securely away while she was destroyed. They did nothing to help her. They did not protect her.

Why did they not protect her? How could they have let this happen? How could I have been so weak?"

Lindelen and Estel both gasped aloud when they heard Legolas' words. I. Not him, not them, but I. And they knew it was no mistake.

"I did not protect her." Legolas cried in anguish, his body collapsing against his brother's. "I could not help her. She died because I could not help her. I was too weak. She suffered and died because of me. Because I let them take her. Because I was too weak. I was too weak. How could I have been so weak?"

Lindelen looked down at his little brother and saw the lines of silver tears that slid down his face, mixing with the red and black blood, creating a horrific sight on the once princely face. Legolas' whole body shook in Lindelen's arms as his words rattled off, condemning himself for what he could not have changed. His eyes were no longer filled with rage; instead they were deathly hallow, crying for the life they had lost once again.

Legolas continued to speak the condemning words, his voice now nothing but a whisper, his face contorted in unspeakable pain under the coat of gore. Finally his words died away, though his lips, stained with blood, still moved. His body stopped shaking, becoming limp instead. Lindelen quickly tightened his hold on his brother's frail body so that it would not fall.

The elder prince wrapped his arms firmly around his brother's waist and slowly lowered them both to the ground, cradling the younger elf in a circle.

*

Legolas did not know when his body was lowered to the ground. He could sense nothing of the world around him. He felt nothing, heard nothing. His vision blurred, then sharpened, then blurred again until he couldn't tell what was real and what was not. Eventually everything turned black and he was lost to oblivion.

*

Lindelen watched as his brother's eyes became unfocused, almost as if he slept. But the heir of Mirkwood knew better. He had not seen this look in many centuries, but he knew well that it was not that of an elven sleep. This look, blank and unfocused, yet full of relief, was much more.

For it meant that his brother retreated. Ran from the world; the dark, cruel, cold world that had brought him so much pain and so little hope. The world that had stolen that little bit of hope from him.

Lindelen shifted so that he cradled his brother in his arms like a babe, then stood and started walking towards the battle field, a sorrowful figure walking through the dark night. Estel followed at a slow pace.

*

Legolas didn't know how long he stayed in the darkness; it could have been minutes or centuries. All he knew was that he found it. The place he had found the first time so very long ago. The place where he knew he could go to escape the pain and endless suffering of the world.

At first it was no more than a tiny light, a pinprick in the dark fabric of oblivion. But his mind sought out that light, chasing it down, drawing it ever closer until he exploded into it with such force it took his breath away.

This was his place of safety. Of sanctuary. No hurt could find him here. This sanctuary seemed almost alive as it once had, all radiance and peace and tranquility, nothing but light swirling with a mass of colors.

Greens and browns and yellows of the forests he loved radiated the world around him. Deep blue and pale blue and blue as dark as night to represent the endless sky and the rivers of life that flowed through the rich earth. Red and orange of dying leaves in autumn, purples and pinks of crocuses in the spring, icy white of winter and deep gold of summer. A thousand colors of all that he loved, swirling and twirling and mixing in a mass of light.

He stood in a great expanse of the color, though there was nothing but colors beneath his feet. He looked to the horizon into the deep depths of spinning paint, but there was nothing to see in the far reaches of his hidden realm. No beginning, no end. No earth beneath or sky above to meet like desolate lover's always reaching but never touching.

There was nothing. Nothing but colors and calm and peace and safety. And…

…Her.

**To Be Continued…**

Okay, I've got 2 chapters left after this and I have a request from y'all. I really REALLY want to get up to 100 reviews. I've never made it that far before. Now, I know I'm pretty far off, but you've all been so good about reviewing and a simple 12 and a half reviews per chapter would get me there. I don't think that's too much to ask. I think. Would you get me there, pretty please with sugar on top? It would make my year if you did.

Now, I'm not demanding reviews, cuz like I've said in the past, I HATE that. I'm not going to hold chapters for ransom. It's just a request. Thanks so much in advance whether you do or don't get me to 100. You guys are the best reviewers anyone could ask for no matter what and I adore each and every one of you! *blows a big kiss to all my reviewers*

Until next time!

Adrienne


	10. Shadows

I haven't forgotten about you! I started a new job on Thursday and have been unable to update. But it's here now! Enjoy!

**To my most gratifying reviewers -**

**Templa**** Otmena -** Wow. What a review. So detailed and sincere. Thank you. That really made my day. As for finding out about what happened to our dear elf so long ago… sorry, but as I've told the others in a previous chapter's author's note, my muses have deemed it necessary for that whole situation to be a totally different story. Yup. But it's the next one I'm going to be posting (haven't even started writing, but if all goes according to plan the first chapter will be up in 2 to 3 weeks.) And your name, again… I looked 'magic human' up in the resources I have and came up with, well 'human' is translated 3 different ways, _adan_ (spelled that wrong in the chapter. oops), _echil, and __firen.  And 'magic' translated as either _angol_ or _gûl_. But that's just in Sindarin. There are several Elvish languages that were created by Tolkien, so you probably just found one of those. I still like yours though. *grins*_

**LOTRFaith**** -** Wow! You are amazing! Thank you Thank you Thank you! And the things you said, made my day. Once again, thank you!

**LegolasLover2003 -** Holy Goodness! What a time you've had. And that totally rocks about your friend! lol.  _'__Is that "Her" as in Ithilien?', well you'll just have to find out now won't you? *grins* And I really really hope that it doesn't end abruptly. Anpother of my pet peeves. I went back and reread it, and I don't think it does but… *cringes* I hope not._

**silvertoekee**** -** Yes, his rampage is totally understandable, except the parts where he threatens the lives of the other characters. Just… no. Not allowed. :)

**Tithen**** Min -** Well thank you. All nine in a row, huh? Wow. I've done that several times but never thought mines was worthy of such dedication. Coolness. And no worries on the strangeness. You haven't seen me when I get sleep deprived. It's not a pretty picture. *grins*

**ElvenRanger13 -** You'll just have to find out now won't you. *laughs evilly*

**MG87 -** Hey, me too! I NEVER cry. Sorry I almost made it happen for you. I don't mean to do these things!!!! lol. Anyway, I actually re-did my math (always my worst subject. I failed algebra 3 times *shudders*) and I actually needed… 13 and a half. Think you can do that? *grins*

**Deana -** Thank you very much, and here you are. :)

**Coolio02 -** Your waiting my cease.

**aragorns-gurl33** - Mae govannen, mellon nin! And since I'm awesome and found the site for you (go check your e-mail if you haven't since Thursday), you can now go translate that yourself. *grins* Thank you for the review, and I have no idea how I do it. Just gifted I guess. *laughs hysterically at self* Sorry. I'm hyper. *grins*

**" Memories**** of Ilithien "**

**Chapter 10 - Shadows**

Estel watched with apprehension as Elrond assessed the limp body of the youngest prince of Mirkwood. 

After he and Lindelen had returned to the edge of the forest with the prince Elrond had declared that they were to move out from the battlefield, the piled carcass' already alight with flame, burning all evidence of the foul creatures to ash. 

So, through the dark night, those uninjured helped those who were, Estel and Elrohir supporting Elladan, Lindelen carrying Legolas' limp body on his retrieved horse. It had been a slow return to the halls of Imladris, taking over twice as long as the journey away the morning before. Was it truly only that morning past? It seemed a lifetime.

Once safely inside Imladris Elrond had left the care of those injured, even his own son, to other's while he himself took Legolas to the Hall of Healing, beckoning Lindelen and Estel to follow. Estel aided him as he saw to the injuries the prince had endured during the battle, numerous in number, though none so severe as to cause worry of death.

After the long task of cleansing and dressing the wounds as well as the elf, it had taken long indeed to rid the fair creature of the filth he had been covered in, Elrond stood, sighing sadly as he looked down at the distressed prince. His eyes, though open which was comfort in truth, spoke of more pain than any should have to endure.

Elrond glanced at Lindelen, who sat anxiously by his brother's bed, tears pooling in his identical blue eyes. "Lindelen, may I speak with you?" Elrond asked softly, placing a comforting had on the younger elf's shoulder. Lindelen nodded numbly and stood, but his eyes never left those of his brother.

"I will watch over him." Estel said softly, sensing the elder prince's apprehension at leaving his brother.

Elrond shifted knowing eyes to the young human. "What of your previous statement, _ion nin_?" He asked. **(…, my son?")**

Estel glanced down at the still form of the prince as Lindelen stared on, lost at the turn of the conversation. "He needs the help now of all those that would care for him. My past grievances are little compared to this." His eyes came up to meet those of his father, and Elrond saw a small glimmer of the man he would become in their deep gray depths. The elf lord nodded and led Lindelen from the room.

Once free of the room Elrond turned to the young prince and placed a hand on his shoulder once again. "Your brother is strong." He started, but the merest tilt in his voice spoke of his next words. Lindelen dropped his head sadly; his exhausted body sagged against the wall at his back.

"I have much faith in him." Elrond continued, moving towards the prince. "But his mind retreats to the place it once took him, long ago when he needed to escape the world. And though his body remains, I fear that this time… his mind may not return from that place. For he has lost the one thing that brought him back before."

Lindelen's eyes closed slowly as tears fell down his pale skin.

"_Car-ú anno am estel nedh ho, nin caun_." Elrond said softly, gripping his shoulder tightly. "He needs your strength now more than ever." **("Do not give up hope in him, my prince.")**

Lindelen nodded, for he wanted to trust that his brother would return to him, though he feared his heart would not believe.

***

"So this is were you retreated, all those years ago." Ilithien said softly, her bare feet silent on the non-ground as she walked towards Legolas. "It is beautiful."

The prince stared in wonder as his love stopped beside him, her eyes, beautiful green eyes that surpassed the beauty of any plant Legolas had ever seen, took in the swirling colors around them. Those colors now seemed dim, dull compared to the light that came from the woman he loved standing before him when he thought to never see her again.

"Am I dead?" Legolas whispered, barely able to force the words passed his lips.

Ilithien looked at him then, taking her eyes away from the spinning colors, locking onto his. "No." She said softly, smiling at some private thing. "The Valar have aloud me to come here, to your sanctuary. They do not wish to lose another immortal life from Middle-Earth. Most especially one whose time has not come."

Legolas stared back at her, mesmerized by her presence. "But… I wish for death. I have prayed for the mercy of the Valar to let me return to the only thing that has brought me life. You come now to tell me they do not grant that mercy?"

Ilithien raised her hand and gently trailed her fingers down his pale cheek; Legolas leaned into the touch. "No, _meleth__ nin, they do not grant your prayer." Legolas closed his eyes in pain, raising a hand to place over hers, holding the soft skin to his face. **(…, my love,)**_

"But," Ilithien went on, stepping closer so that their bodies touched, molding into each other as they had done so often in the past. "They give you a choice. They will allow you to stay here," she waved her hand at the world that surrounded them. "Or you may return home."

"Will you be here?" Legolas asked, his eyes wide with hope. Ilithien shook her head and the hope vanished.

"I cannot stay long. My place now is in Mandos' halls. But the Valar will allow you one other mercy. They will allow no hurt to find you here. No suffering, not even from yourself. All your memories of pain would be gone."

An eternity without pain was a blessed offer. It was all the young prince had longed for for countless years.

"But do not make your decision too quickly." Ilithien warned. "First there is much I wish to show you. Look there." She pointed to a spot in the midst of the colors. "You have much to live for, my love. Much to return to."

Legolas looked up to see a shadowy figure emerge from the colors around them, like smoke taking solid form. There was no color to the figure, but Legolas new it to be that of his father. Another figure appeared and gave Thranduil a piece of parchment.

"He learns of your peril." Ilithien whispered in Legolas' ear.

Shadow-Thranduil opened the parchment, his smoke-eyes gliding across the paper. Shadowy tears formed in his eyes and fell, and he sunk to his knees, holding the paper close to his heart. Despair and sorrow was evident in his shadowy form. Legolas' heart broke that he would cause his father such pain.

Then the kneeling figure disappeared as if blown away by an unfeelable wind, and another took it's place. This figure was the only other child of the king, Legolas' brother. 

"He comes for you." Ilithien's voice floated past his ear.

Shadow-Lindelen sat atop a horse and the legs beneath the animal moved wildly, though the figure stayed in place and the hooves made no sound. Legolas could see in the gray form that his brother was beyond exhaustion, his body sagging in the saddle, his head barely held to see in which direction he rode. But there was determination in his eyes that drove him on.

The shadow sifted, molding itself until it became a fighter surrounded by orcs, wielding an elven blade. His brother fought in the battle, his battle, and there was a fierceness in his eyes that startled the young prince. He knew his brother thought only of him.

This shadow too blew away and another emerged. This one took the shape of his two closest friends and the man he considered as a father; fighting as well, trying to reach him in a hopeless battle. One fell and another let out a soundless cry. Legolas hadn't even known that Elladan had been hurt. Did he still live?

The shadow shifted and he watched himself hit one of his dearest friends, a friend who had just risked his life for him, sending him to the ground when he had done nothing but try and help.

The shadow disappeared and another emerged in the form of the human boy. He watched as the shadow knelt beside another form, smoky rain falling on him from an invisible sky, and lifted it into his arms, carrying it towards the halls of Imladris. Legolas knew it was he that the human carried. 

The shadow shifted to show the human and Avarilas racing across a dark field to throw themselves into battle at his aide.

Another shift revealed Legolas, knife raised in a killing blow, the human standing honorably still as the prince prepared to strike. Legolas cringed at the slight shift he felt from Ilithien.

The shadows shifted again to show the concern on the young humans face as Legolas collapsed in Lindelen's arms. The worry he held for him as he helped Lord Elrond dress his wounds. The gentle care he took as he cleaned the blood from his face. Then it showed him sit beside the bed his helpless body lay in and take his hand, stroking his hair softly and saying silent words of comfort.

The shadow blew away to join the others and one more emerged from the swirls. This was of four of the _periannath, their small bodies embracing each other in joy as they met on a balcony in Imladris. **(… hobbits …)**_

"Who are they?" Legolas asked softly, barely daring to break the silence as the figure blew away and no other took it's place.

"This I cannot tell you." Ilithien said, taking Legolas' hands in her own as the prince turned back to her, a soft smile adorning her face. "Just think of it as a prophecy of what may come."

They said nothing for a moment, each lost in their own thoughts, staring at the other in silence. Then Ilithien spoke again, her voice soft, betraying no emotion. "I know your pain runs deep, beloved. But you have many things to live for. What will you choose?"

Legolas said nothing for a moment, then spoke quietly. "You said that my memories of pain could not hurt me here. That they would leave me. What of my memories of you. What will happen to them?"

"Would it hurt you to remember me, but not have me here?"

Legolas nodded, pain dancing across his dark eyes.

"Then there is your answer." Ilithien whispered.

Legolas took a step back from her, though he kept her hands clutched tightly in his own. He looked at her, then to the place where the shadows had been, then back to her once again.

"_Im_ innas gwanno bar_." He whispered, tears forming in his eyes as he sealed himself to an eternity of pain. **("I will return home.")**_

Ilithien smiled and drew him into her arms, holding him closely. "I knew you would." She sighed. Legolas leaned down and caught her lips in a kiss and in that one moment, a moment that lasted forever, they promised each other their undying love. Love to last unanswered for all eternity.

And as they parted Legolas' eyes opened and he saw a shimmering canopy above his head and felt the warmth of his brother's hand in his.

**To Be Continued…**

And my I just say, my reviewers are very wonderful. *blows kisses*'

Until next time!

Adrienne

P.S. There was no 'memory' in this one because I didn't think it was necessary since Ilithien was, you know, in the chapter. *grins*


	11. Perhaps

Well, ladies and gents, this is it. The end. I meant to remind you in the last chapter but I forgot. I'm so sad to see it go. I really enjoyed writing it and even more so posting it for all of you. It has been a wonderful adventure. I hope it doesn't end too abruptly. I hope it didn't go too quickly. I hope the chapters were not too short. I hope I didn't destroy the characters too badly. I hope a lot of things. But alas, it is done and I cannot go back. *starts sobbing hysterically*

*stops sobbing*

*stands up on soapbox and pulls out a microphone* MY REVIEWERS ARE THE BEST REVIEWERS ANYONE COULD EVER ASK FOR!!!!!!!!

To all those who have reviewed my story, MG87, Stranger to your Eyes, Karri, Beth Trogdon, LegolasLover2003, Alexis, Elenillor, LOTRFaith, RainyDayz, Qachatu, ElveNDestiNy, Coolio02, silvertoekee, grumpy, Tinnuial, ElvenRanger13, Estel Elven Enchantress, Katie, Deana, aragorns-gurl33, Mockingbird4, Cosmic Castaway, elfmage, CrayStar314, Templa Otmena, I LOVE LEGOLAS!!, Tithen Min, The Lady of Light, Cat, Nikki1... 

I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. You make a girl feel special. You've brightened my days and kept me from throwing away my story just because of a little writers block. I love and appreciate you all and hope to see you the next time around!

To all those who didn't review... *PTTHT*!! *grins*

**To my reviewers - **

**Deana -** I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry. Goodness, I had no idea I could have that effect on people. Here's chapter 11 for ya. Sorry it wasn't quick.

**The Lady of Light -** Refreshing? That's one I haven't heard. Thank you very much. I hope you enjoy the rest of it.

**silvertoekee -** Yup, that's where he went alright. And I'm glad he got to see his girl once more too. I really hadn't expected that when I started the story. It was an interesting surprise. lol. And I've been meaning to ask you for the longest time, what does your name mean? It's very... unique. 

**Cat -** Well thank you very much, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I hope the ending was worth the wait.

**MG87 -** Where are the rest huh? I thought you were going to post one every day. *grins* Just kidding, babe. Sorry I almost made you cry again!

**Coolio02 -** But of course. If he had stayed there how would I be able to torture him in the future? *laughs evilly*

**Nikki1 -** Frustrating? Cool. *grins* Your frustration will cease soon I promise. My next story will tell all about our dear elf's plight. :)

**Tithen Min -** Yes, yes I do. lol. Just kidding. I use the word 'daft' too! When I do people look at me weird. Do they do that to you? *laughs*

**LegolasLover2003 -** Ew, gross. Why'd you have to do that? I hope you enjoy the final chapter. *sniffs* It's over!!! :(

**Templa Otmena -** Wow! Oh, goodness was I surprised to get your review. What a review. You rock! As for the place he retreated to, that came to me at 2 o'clock in the morning. I was just lying in bed and my brain was running around my story think of what I should do next and that suddenly came to me. Only, it wasn't very helpful at the time because I believe at that point I was still on chapter 5. *laughs* Oh well. I wrote it all down and saved it and I'm glad it worked. I'm also glad you found the chapter original. That's what I'm always hoping for. Cuz you read those stories that a pretty good, but they're just using the same old story line over and over. I'm glad I didn't do that. Thank you so much for you excellent review!

**Estel Elven Enchantress -** No worries, hun. I'm just glad you reviewed period. lol. As for the prophesizing, I'm glad you liked it. No one else said anything about it.

A quick word about the chapter, I know the timetable seems a bit off, you'll understand as you read it, but I would like to remind you all of this line, taken from chapter 9. -- _Legolas didn't know how long he stayed in the darkness; it could have been minutes or centuries. Keep that in mind when you read._

**" Memories of Ilithien "**

**Chapter 11 - Perhaps**

Legolas stared out of the brightening window, his eyes memorizing once again the beauty of the valley in which the house of Elrond sat. After a moment his eyes glazed over and his mind saw things not before him; things of the past, too numerous to tell. Hundreds of lifetimes of men, but the mere twinkling of an eye to most elves, passed before his mind, leaving silvery tears set in his eyes in their wake.

He sighed heavily and turned from the window, committing the memories to a safe place, no longer to be dwelled in. He had chosen a new life, one full of past pain but new none the less. He would live this life, no longer afraid, no longer torn. He knew the road to such a commitment would be long indeed, and full of strife; but he knew he would reach it one day.

As he turned the figure on the bed behind him stirred and he smiled softly, moving to sit beside the waking elf. Elladan blinked as his eyes focused, the bright blue orbs resting on the Mirkwood prince. It had been nearly two weeks since the battle on the plain, and the eldest twin was still bed-ridden. A testament to his injury, for elven healing powers are strong.

"You are awake." Elladan stated, his voice tinged with surprise. Legolas nodded.

"Just last night." He said softly, his deep eyes filled with an emotion which Elladan could not interpret. "I'm… leaving. Returning home. We leave as soon as the horses are readied. I just wanted… I came to apologize."

"It is not necessary." The Noldor said, a small smile lifting the corners of his lips.

Legolas shook his head vehemently. "Yes, it is." He said, suddenly not able to meet his friend's eyes. "I… you were injured because of me. Because of my brashness and stupidity. It should not have happened thus. I must apologize."

"I was injured because of your grief. And that cannot be changed. I hold no ill will towards your deeds _mellon nin. I have done the same in my past." Elladan sat up slowly, mindful of his wounded side and wrapped a comforting arm around his friend's shoulder. "Do not blame yourself for this."_

"But I do." Legolas sighed softly, leaning into his friend's comforting embrace. He was weary beyond anything he had felt before and still had much ahead of him. In their past Elladan had always been a source of comfort, silent and strong, to the young prince. He would never forgive himself the injury that even now faded to memory for his friend.

"I have made many apologies this morning." Legolas sighed again, his mind showing him the faces of all he had wronged in his grief and madness. One was seen more often then all the others, but he couldn't help but push it to the side.

"Ai." Elladan said, squeezing his friend's shoulder. Then he removed his arm and sat up straight, looking closely at his friend. "You are alright?" He asked, his voice holding a sense of question, mixed with disbelief. It seemed unlikely that the prince could recover from his madness so quickly. But to the physical eye he seemed well, if cheerless. To the inner eye though, that of the heart, Elladan could see a quiet battle raging inside his friend.

"_Law_." Legolas said softly, his shoulders falling ever so slightly. **("No.")**

"Will you ever be?" Elladan asked, knowing the answer already as tears threatened to form in his eyes. His friend had changed with this and would never be the same again. Elladan's heart mourned for that which was lost.

"Not completely." The prince whispered.

Legolas sighed once more then stood, looking down at his friend. "You are more of a friend than anyone, elf or otherwise, could ask for Elladan. _Im hannon le an sen, gwador_." **(… I thank you for that, brother.")**

Elladan simply nodded.

"I go now. Surely we are ready to depart and I have one more stop to make. Perhaps we will see each other soon?"

"Perhaps." Elladan said in a perfect imitation of his father. Legolas smiled softly because he knew that the young elf had not intended it to sound so. Legolas placed his hand over his heart and bowed in the traditional farewell of the elves, then turned to leave.

"Legolas," Elladan said as the prince reached his door. Legolas stopped and turned his head, his eyes questioning. "You said you made many apologies today. Have you done so to my brother?"

Legolas knew of which brother Elladan spoke, and he knew also that Elladan knew. He did not answer his friend as he left the room.

***

Legolas took the reins from Avarilas when he reached the stables and gracefully mounted his horse, forgotten by him all this time. He promised the mare that he would make it up to her ten-fold. Avarilas mounted his own steed, and Lindelen settled in beside his brother, waiting for their departure.

They had waited most the morning for the prince to join them, patient in their wait for he had been to see Ilithien's grave once more before their departure. They did not question him when he finally returned to them.

Legolas had many things he wished, and needed, to discuss with his friend and his brother, but they could wait. His heart could take no more right now, and they had a long journey ahead of them.

Elrond and Elrohir stood on Elladan's balcony watching the small party as they prepared to leave. The three Mirkwood elves bowed respectfully atop their horses to the ancient lord, he returning the farewell, and laughed at the ridiculous face Elrohir made. They laughed even harder when Elrohir cringed under his father's disapproving glare.

Legolas met Elrohir's eyes, conveying once again the apology he had made to him that morn, both for the heinous action he had done to his dear friend, and for the injury his brother had sustained, for Legolas knew it had pained the younger twin more than the one that had received it.

Elrohir nodded in acceptance of the apology, then he and his father turned and entered the room, leaving the three to their journey. They set off without a word.

***

Less than an hour's time later they came to the edge of the lands of Imladris, passing the low river effortlessly and turning towards their home.

As they did this Legolas saw a dark figure, too loud and clumsy to be an elf, emerge from the woods on their side, preparing to cross the river back to Imladris. As the figure came closer he saw the Mirkwood party and waved, then bowed respectfully, saying a prayer for their safety.

As he straightened his dark gray eyes met Legolas' and he smiled.

~

_"E innas gwanath istos_." Legolas said bitterly as he watched his beloved fiancé laugh at the antics of the child in his courtyard. Lord Elrond was paying a visit to the prince's father, and he deemed to bring the human child and his nanny with him. **("He will die you know.")**__

_"Yes." Ilithien replied, smiling at the boy as he chased a squirrel that had interrupted his lunch. "That is why he is called a 'mortal'."_

_Legolas rolled his eyes in frustration and sat on the railing beside his love. "You bring yourself needless pain by growing attached to it."_

_"His name is Estel." Ilithien sighed, turning her deep green eyes towards the prince. Green was a rare color, even for an elf; her eyes had entranced the prince for centuries._

_Ilithien moved so that she stood between Legolas' knees. She placed her hands on his face, gently brushing away the long blonde tresses. The small boy's laughter floated up from the courtyard._

_"Le garo daer milui hûn_." ___She whispered, smiling lovingly at him. "Your soul is filled with beauty and love. Your eyes shine with the joy of the woods and living things. Yet you cannot see him for what he is. Why will you not let go your old sorrows and find a blessing in him as I have?" **("You have such a kind heart.")**_

_Legolas glared at her and gently pushed her away from him, stepping away from the rail and walking inside his chambers. Ilithien cast a glance at her charge then slowly followed the elf she loved._

_"Humans are useless." Legolas hissed, pacing in front of his desk. "They are weak. Deceitful. Hateful. Murderous. They kill their own kind for their own gain and destroy the land simply because it suits them. They cheat each other, bind each other into slavery. And they treat other races, not with more respect than they do their own kind as we do, but with less. They see the elves as a people to be feared. They are threatened by us, and because of that they wish to destroy us as well._

_Humans are no blessing, Ilithien. They are a plague on this earth."_

_Ilithien walked over to him and wrapped her arms tightly around him, stopping his pacing. After a moment he returned the hug, burying his face in her soft raven hair._

_"In time you will see." She whispered, running her hands along his back. "You will know that not all humans are as you think. E innas echedio le tírad__." **(He will help you see.")**_

_~_

Perhaps his love was right. Legolas thought as the young human bowed, the shadowy images Ilithien had showed him running through his mind. And when Estel smiled at him Legolas allowed, for the first time since their meeting 13 years ago, a small smile in return.

Perhaps.

**The End**

That 'memory' was actually the very first one I wrote. It was supposed to be in the first chapter. Funny.

My next story should be coming out in about 2 weeks. (that's an approximate number, it may be more, it may be less. count on more) I hope to see you all there!

*whispers* Only 12 more and I'll be at one hundred... :)

Adrienne


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